A Spiritual Perspective
By Wade Frazier
Revised February 2014
How I Developed my Spiritual Perspective
My Early Paranormal Experiences
Research and Activities – Notes from My Journey
Serving Ourselves and Serving Others
What Is the Relevance to My Work?
The Human Afterlife
How I Developed my Spiritual Perspective
For me, my worldview does not become comprehensive until the metaphysical/spiritual/mystical (pick the term that seems to suit best) perspective is incorporated, because I view all my work and life through a mystical lens. By that, I mean that I always seek the biggest possible picture in everything that I observe and experience. In order to speak to the world of scholarship, science, history, et cetera, it has been necessary to try speaking the language of those disciplines. While my work on Columbus and the European conquest of the world can stand on its own historical legs (or my research on fluoride, thermodynamics and cancer treatment can stand on its own scientific legs), history only tells part of the story, no matter how comprehensive it may seem, no matter how heavily it relies on primary source material.
The world of our everyday conscious minds is limited, bound by our senses and the course of our thinking. A history that only hews to the "facts," or a science only concerned with what its instruments can tell it, is materialistic. A historical account that adheres to the "facts" can be admirable, but "facts" are not as objective as we might like them to be, and what facts are presented and omitted is hardly an objective undertaking. Materialism is the worship of the material world and our physical existence. Carl Sagan practiced it, as did John D. Rockefeller, although he was a devout Baptist (Rockefeller became the most excited when pondering how rich he would become). A mystical viewpoint also looks beyond the physical plane and seeks a larger framework of understanding and exploring the nature of our consciousness.
James Randi and friends aver that there is no solid evidence for anything existing beyond the physical plane. The rationale for that viewpoint usually relies on the logic of making evidence of a reality beyond the physical plane conform to the physical plane’s rules. If people begin with the assumption that the only "real" things are those detected by their senses, their circular logic will "prove" their assumption’s accuracy. If somebody has visited another dimension, only an artifact of that dimension (or conformance to this one) can convince materialists that they really went there. That introduces standards of evidence that are often impossible to achieve, so Randi can be right. This essay will lay the groundwork for how I developed my perspective. An intellectual game did not bring me to my perspective, but my experiences.
“Reality” may not be objective. My reality does not have to be Carl Sagan's. My paranormal and worldly experiences have shaped my view of reality far more than the study of books and science. I cannot "prove" my reality to anyone else. My experiences are nobody else's, but I have discovered that having "paranormal" experiences is something that anyone can attain. Nobody need take Randi's or my word for it; they can seek and have their own experiences. When people have their own paranormal experiences, they are not at the mercy of the world's Sagans and Randis, telling them that there is no veil, so therefore nothing on the other side, or that they were just "imagining" it.
My Early Paranormal Experiences
My mental gifts were recognized early in my childhood, and my parents groomed me for a life of achievement. It did not turn out as anticipated. When my sixth-grade teacher remarked that he thought my parents were pushing me too hard and that I could not seem to accept failure, I think that he was sincere.
The spiritual aspect of my upbringing was not ignored, nor was it pushed. My parents were raised in staunchly Christian environments. My mother's mother ran her Lutheran church for about 50 years, and my father was a Bible scholar who once thought of becoming a minister. To my parents' credit, their children were not subjected to intense Christian indoctrination. I attended Sunday school for about three years of my childhood, until I was 12. As I look back from an adult perspective, I appreciate what those church workers did. There was love there, and they were trying to help raise "good" children, but I was largely oblivious to it, just wanting to get my Bible verses accurate and getting my goodies for acing the "curriculum."
A few years later, my maturing mind considered the Christian view of God and the cosmos. It made no sense to me, and I began calling myself an atheist. It was an inaccurate label, as at that age few children can willfully ascribe to any "isms." Parents and other authority figures heavily influence a child’s worldview. By age 15, I was fully involved with growing up, dealing with the new rage of hormones coursing through my body - replete with acne, body odor, and unbidden erections - and preparing myself for the adult world. I kept pulling the straight A's and was at the top of nearly all of my classes, from kindergarten through my college diploma.
My parents sent me to Europe for two months in the summer of 1974, just after I had turned 16, as part of a student tour that studied the Old World’s art and culture. It was an intense tour that visited nine nations (we would have also visited Turkey, but the Cyprus War was being waged) and about 50 cathedrals, 50 museums, and most noteworthy cultural relics in continental Western Europe. The students were the tour guides, and each became an expert for part of the tour, after signing up for what they wanted to lead.
At that age, I was oblivious to art and culture. I had visited science and natural history museums, but European art and culture was alien to me. About the only exposure to other cultures was knowing my Mexican-American friends and watching Kung Fu on TV, not for the Eastern philosophy but for how Kwai Chang Caine kicked righteous butt every show (only when egged into it, so I thought). I was a Gilligan's Island fan. I had no interest or even knowledge about what to become "expert" in, which largely why I did not want to go, because of the homework required to prepare. I saw the tour as a wasted summer, when I could be playing golf and hanging out with my friends. When the list finally came to me, about the only part not taken was a man named Vincent van Gogh and Holland. I had never heard of him, but had to study his life and work to play tour guide in Holland and the museums that housed his work. I discovered the world of art, and to this day van Gogh is my favorite artist. I have stared at his paintings and drawings for many hours, sometimes mesmerized in museums while viewing his work. If I did not have to earn a living, I might prefer being an art historian.
My summer in Europe was a rite of passage and the beginning of my adulthood. It was an awakening, but on the spiritual front nothing was happening. I had abandoned religion as a superstition, and my early fascination with strange phenomena (I avidly read Frank Edwards' Strange World and Stranger than Science at age 13) was slowly being replaced with an adult, no-nonsense view of such things. I was getting on the scientific track, and had little use for such things. That changed. In the autumn of 1974, my father and brother came home one night, stood me in front of a white wall in our home, and described my aura. I had never heard of an aura. They said that the class they were taking had trained them to see auras. I was amazed. I asked, "Can I see it too?" Their response was that I could, after taking the class.
The next month my entire family took the course, which was called Silva Mind Control. Reading auras was not part of the official Silva curriculum, but something that our teacher added. Silva Mind Control was not marketed as a class to develop one’s psychic muscles, read auras, or any of those "New Age" concepts that abounded in the 1980s and 1990s. Instead, it was marketed as a way to improve the memory, think positively, and a host of "tame" ideas. The course was presented with a scientific basis. The New Age's buzzwords were not in evidence. The class taught people how to meditate, without Eastern religious concepts. Instead, the class was about controlling our brain waves. By slowing our brain waves from the usual waking consciousness of 21 cycles per second, to the range of REM (rapid eye movement) sleep of around 11 cycles per second, our brains could work more effectively, more creatively, remember more, etc. The class was 40 hours long, and about half lecture and half meditation exercises. The instructor had galvanic skin response devices that could measure our brain waves. Those devices were predecessors to today’s biofeedback machines.
From Monday to Friday, we attended the class in the evening. On the weekend we finished with two ten-hour days of instruction. I had no idea what I was getting into, or what the class was really about. With each new exercise, I became more familiar with the mental state called "being at level” ("Level”). It is not easy to describe and can be subtle. Unless one is familiar with meditative or prayer states, or has been through intensive meditation exercises, it is difficult to comprehend that state. In general, people are more relaxed, and their minds are clearer and not easily distracted. Usually, there is nothing spectacular about it. It is similar to the hypnotic state, but the subject controls the process. As we performed our meditative exercises, the instructor played a tape with a somnolent sound to entrain our brains. He also read us the Silva script, which was filled with positive images and conditioning.
One conditioning statement was that if we fell asleep during the mediation sessions, three taps on the shoulder would wake us up. It was similar to a posthypnotic suggestion. About the third night (class was from about six to ten PM and was held about an hour’s drive from home, which made for long days), I fell asleep during a session, and all I remember is feeling a tap on my shoulder and springing almost out of my chair in shock. I was embarrassed as I saw the instructor standing next to me, and the whole class (about 20 people) was looking at me and smiling. When the exercise was finished, I was asleep, and the instructor demonstrated to the class how powerful the mind is. He stood next to me and tapped my shoulder firmly. The class noted that I did not budge. Then the instructor tapped my shoulder firmly again. I still had no response. When he touched my shoulder for the third time, I nearly leaped out of my chair. The class was impressed, I was embarrassed, and as I look back, that was my only warning that my worldview and life's direction was about to radically change.
On the weekend came ten-hour days, and the exercises became progressively longer and more involved. No longer were we merely learning how to "go to level." The instructor guided to us to "projecting" our awareness into a cube of metal that we held, and eventually had us project our awareness into our homes, plants, and family pets. The exercises were fun, and my imagination was being used like never before. It did not feel much different than daydreaming, but was perhaps more vivid.
On Sunday afternoon came the end of class and the grand finale, which my father and brother had not told me about. We were going to project our awareness into people and "work cases." It was strange to me. The idea was thinking of somebody I knew with a health problem, and I would write that person’s name, gender, age, and city of residence on a card, as well as the person's affliction. Then a second person would read off the name, gender, age, and city of residence to a third person who had "gone to Level," and the person would "project" his/her awareness into that "target," go on nothing more than that information, diagnose the problem, and send healing energy to the target.
I had a strange mixture of exhilaration and uneasiness. On one hand, it was similar to a classroom experiment, my academic background came to the fore, and I loved the classroom. On the other hand, I would be the experiment. I eagerly read Frank Edwards’s strange tales years earlier, and doubted that the scientific worldview told us the entire story. I suspected that we might have unacknowledged abilities, but being put on the spot to perform psychically was unnerving. I had one of my "cases" easily picked out.
My first employer was a black man named Isaac Brown. I worked for him the year before, tearing apart a walnut farm and salvaging wood from the buildings. He lived in Ventura’s poor section and my father bought scrap wood from him. My father got me the job and I made .50 per hour. Mr. Brown had diabetes and an injury related to it. My employment ended while he recovered from his injury-related illness and the business folded. Mr. Brown also had an index finger that had been severed at the middle knuckle, but he was my case because he had diabetes. I was the scientific kid and remember hiding my card as I wrote his condition, not wanting to compromise the reading with flashing the card to the potential psychic, whomever that might be. I did not write about his index finger being severed. His diabetes had caused him to lose half of his foot. Those were his spectacular medical conditions, and I certainly did not write about his race. I did not even think about his finger.
The "psychic" who worked Isaac’s case was a woman whom people might have called a "yuppie" in the 1980s. She probably felt as I did: she was not taking the Silva course to increase her psychic prowess. She probably did not feel too psychic. Improving memory and thinking positively was how the course was pitched, and I do not know for sure, but that probably drew her to the class. She closed her eyes, went to Level, and I gave my card to the moderator. He read off: "Isaac Brown, age 42, male, Ventura, California." The class was held in Santa Barbara, about 40 miles from Ventura, and I highly doubt that that woman would have known a poor black man named Isaac Brown.
The woman's eyelids fluttered, and within seconds of being given Isaac Brown's information she said, "I keep getting the impression that he is black," and she then held up the hand where Isaac was missing half of his index finger, bent the finger where it was severed and said, "He is missing the end of this finger." From the moderator reading Isaac's name to her holding up her finger took less than ten seconds. The first ten seconds of her first “case” changed my life forever. The "probability-and-outcome skeptics" who try explaining such events as sheer luck or fraud carry no weight with me. The odds of somebody trying to act psychically after finishing 40 hours of training, and having a "hit" such as that on their first attempt, and attributing it to coincidence, is one in millions. The "skeptics" can never take away my knowledge with their pronouncements and arguments. I know. They have only empty theories; I have experience.
One requirement of performing psychically is quieting the intellect that we operate from so often and letting the impressions come forth without judging how reasonable they seem. Her intellect may have kicked in after that, and I cannot recall if she even determined that he was diabetic. I just sat in awe of her holding up her bent finger and telling us that Isaac’s end of that finger was missing. I was stunned. For the moments she let her impressions flow unencumbered by the intellect, she performed with the best of them. One might say that Isaac Brown is a clichй name for a black man. Maybe so. The index finger, which I did not even write on the card, and she had no way of seeing anyway, eventually expanded my universe of the possible about a million-fold.
Then it was my turn. It can make people nervous to perform that way. It felt like I was making it up, but when you go deeply into Level, that mind chatter is suppressed. When the impressions come, keeping the intellect at bay is the key to being accurate. In my first case, I said the woman had a stroke that had paralyzed her right side. One diagnostic tool is "putting on" the head of the person being read, and feeling what the person feels. That was how I diagnosed the paralysis. My "wild guesses" and irrational feelings were correct. Everybody in the class had similar experiences. I discovered that day that the abilities of human consciousness were barely dreamed of by mainstream society. I have sat in several Silva classes (attending the class for the rest of my life was free for many years, but I think that they now charge a small fee) and have regularly witnessed students experiencing "hits" similar to the ones I saw in my first class.
Brian O’Leary (astronomer, ex-astronaut, free energy visionary, and friend) had a similar experience to mine, five years after I did in a course called Lifespring, which was a cross between Silva Mind Control and EST (another human potential class that I took in the 1970s). When it came time for Brian to work his "case," he made up out of the thin air that his case was a man who was a meteorologist-journalist who preferred hanging out on the west coast of Maui and lost his wife by death. Those "wild guesses" were true. Others in the “New Age” community entered it through Silva Mind Control, including Shakti Gawain. She nailed ten cases in a row when she took Silva Mind Control.
Silva Mind Control began my spiritual journey. Because of 1970s revelations of government mind control programs such as CIA's MKUltra, the course now is called the Silva Method. There are millions of satisfied graduates, and the money-back offer has been around since the beginning. I heard of one person once who took them up on it. Actually, I heard of two, but the first one got her money back to prove to her family that the course was not a "scam," and then her entire family took the class and she paid the money back.
After that class, I was taught to see auras, and it takes the same training to "work cases" to get one sensitive enough to where auras can be seen. It is not the after-image retina phenomenon. In the fifth grade, I became fascinated with the after-image phenomenon, and for a few months I created image after image that I could stare at, and then stare at a blank wall and see the "negative" of the image before my eyes. I am familiar with that phenomenon, and it was quite different from seeing auras.
For anybody who risked a few hundred dollars (Silva has always given refunds to anybody who wanted their money back for any reason) and some time, they could have proven those things to themselves, and they can today. Nobody needs to read "research," hear "debunkers," or watch "psychics" on TV. They can prove it to themselves. We cannot prove our experiences to anybody else, not really, but we can prove it to ourselves. The “miracles” that Jesus performed did not seem so impossible anymore, but neither did they provide a basis for worshipping the man. He was a great master, yes, but he was demonstrating abilities inherent in everybody, and he said we would "do greater works" than he performed. I believe it, now. Over the years, I have participated in and witnessed phenomena that went far beyond "working cases."
Many years later, I would discover the work of James Randi and other "debunkers," with their broad proclamations and arrogant boasts. One of Randi’s books is titled Flim-Flam!, Psychics, ESP, Unicorns and other Delusions, as he put his opinion of those he investigated and the phenomena’s legitimacy in the book's title. The "debunkers" usually have no idea of what they are talking about, as they are bereft of experience and most have never even pursued it.
Studying the debunkers’ work was educational. Randi was so highly biased that he disqualified himself as an investigator. There are a fair number of reasons why Randi and others are doomed if they really seek evidence of the paranormal and abilities of human consciousness that go beyond the ability to rationalize. Their goal is "proving" that their narrow view of reality is "right."
Experiencing the paranormal is one of the easiest things to achieve if one seeks sincerely and leaves one's mind open. If people fervently believe that there is nothing to the paranormal, they will probably never experience it, or if they do, their minds will go into overdrive to convince themselves that they did not have the experience. Wanting to be right might be humanity's greatest failing.
After our family took Silva Mind Control, we explored those new realms. We learned how to communicate mentally with our cats. Animals are naturally psychic, much more so than human beings. We went to Level and mentally pictured our cats doing something that we wanted them to. To do it successfully, it must be an atypical behavior but not one that was disagreeable to the cat, because we are asking the cat for a favor. We had two kittens, and we mentally pictured them jumping into our laps, which they never did. One of us sat on a stool and went to Level while the others watched. The cat began looking at the person at Level intently, then walked over and jumped into his lap. I saw our kitten do it for my brother, and it did it for me.
My father began experimenting with pyramid power. Pyramid energy is one of the more derided aspects of the New Age. My father bought some pyramids and began experimenting with them. He had one that he put his razor blades on, to keep them sharp. I cannot speak for how effective such "uses" of that energy are. I have seen Kirlian photographs of an energy spike coming off the apex of pyramids, and even the Great Pyramid. Something is happening. Pyramid energy is apparently a subtle energy that is not very detectable by our modern instruments, but I saw that plants could recognize it.
My father built a pyramid with a wooden frame and clear plastic stretched between the frames, which formed its planes. Such pyramids are usually built to the relative dimensions of the Great Pyramid at Giza, as my father did. My father made the pyramid about four feet wide at its base. He designed it to be suspended from the ceiling over a chair, so that somebody could sit under it. Nobody in our family really used it, and my father eventually hung it from the ceiling in a corner of our enclosed, fiberglass roof patio, to get it out of the way. On the patio were pet cages (my brothers and I raised rats and mice), bicycles and other assorted clutter. On a table, my mother had some houseplants, and one was vine-like and hung over the table’s edge, dangling a few feet, with its end nearly touching the ground. My father hung the pyramid on the patio. The pyramid's base was about five feet off the ground. It was a couple feet above the table that held the plant, and a couple feet away horizontally. About a week later, I was sitting on the patio and noticed that plant. It is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. The vine dropped down over the table as it had been, but at about a foot below the tabletop the vine made about a 130° turn, and more than a foot of the vine's end was pointing into the air and aiming at the pyramid! In botany, the phenomenon known as phototropism is how plants can grow toward a light. That plant was growing toward the center of the pyramid, about where the King's Chamber is in the Giza pyramid.
The "skeptical" crowd derides pyramid energy as pure moonshine, while the scientific community also ignores "pyramid energy" as a fantasy. I once knew a houseplant that knew better (or perhaps it read the National Enquirer). After witnessing that phenomenon, I have never laughed at theorizing about the Great Pyramid's purpose, although its primary purpose seems to be elite "display," as with other ancient monumental architecture.
Aura reading became quite a pastime for us. We went to classes in which 20 of us took turns getting in front of the class, and we all looked at our auras. Reading auras requires the kind of training that meditation offers, although some can naturally see them. Today, I cannot see auras anymore. I am "out of shape." If I want to see auras again, I will have to regularly meditate to redevelop those "psychic muscles.”
After my friend took the Silva class, we worked cases together, and one of them was of his relative that I never met. I put on the relative’s head and continued the reading. Suddenly, I was hunched over, and each breath arched my back. It was strange, but I continued the reading. It felt like my upper body was being folded over my lower body. When the reading was finished, I asked my friend if he noticed how hunched over I was, and he said it was obvious and pronounced, and that his relative was hunched over just like that, as he was an old, frail man. In working cases, those kinds of “hits” became normal.
Sometimes there was a downside to being empathic. I have participated in plenty of "hands on" healing over the years. Once I worked with somebody who had severe back problems that resulted in volcanic migraine headaches. While laying my hand on his neck, suddenly the muscles in the back of my neck tightened up and my neck was sore for days. He said that was what his neck felt like. One might say that it "backfired." I have had numerous paranormal experiences such as those, and they would often happen when I did not expect them.
I have attended dozens of "channelings," in which somebody lets another being come through their awareness. The "skeptics" dismiss the phenomenon as bogus, either as a fraud, wishful thinking, or some other delusion. I once had a private session when the channel told me that I was misaligned with my spirit’s light (during my dark days with Dennis), and she asked my guides and other helpers, such as angels, to help align my body with the light of my spirit. I had little idea what that entailed, and did not know what to expect, if anything. The channel is a friend of mine, and I did not expect her to try to convince me that something happened when it did not. As I sat there, she looked at me and said that my friends were trying to help me. Just then, something strange happened. My awareness began "turning" in my body. It is difficult to describe. It felt as if my awareness was being twisted in my body, as though I was no longer "straight" in my body. My head wanted to twist to the side, and I was straining to keep it pointed straight ahead. It was quite a trip. I had nothing to compare it to, although years later I heard that my experience was related to vertigo. I do not know if what my unseen friends attempted was successful, but it was strange.
Those experiences and many others were part of a radical change in my worldview. The single biggest change was the first, when that woman held up Isaac Brown's severed finger. After that, I was not quick to call anything "impossible," especially regarding the abilities of human consciousness. By age 21, I had five years of increasing study under my belt. In those days, a few books were highly influential to me; one was Illusions by Richard Bach, which was his follow-up to Jonathan Livingston Seagull. I have read a vast array of spiritual material since Illusions, but it is still one of the greatest spiritual masterpieces that I have encountered. Perhaps the most influential book I ever read was the Aquarian Gospel of Jesus the Christ, first published in 1907. Levi Dowling, an American Christian minister, wrote it. Dowling produced the book over a number of years while in a deep trance state. He was allegedly accessing the Akashic record, in which every thought and act of Creation is recorded. That is the theory, anyway. I read the Aquarian Gospel at age 18. For the first time, I began to understand spirituality. For two years, that book was on my bedside table. Every night as I went to bed, I picked up the book and read from it.
Something happened when I took Silva Mind Control. It was a dual blessing. One effect was that my imagination became more vivid. In addition, my intuition and sense of truth was awakened. If I had read the Aquarian Gospel at age 15, it probably would have been largely meaningless, but with my intuition awakened the text leapt off the page. The words sang to me. I had a sense that I was reading The Truth. By "truth," I do not mean the sense of right and wrong or what really happened two millennia ago when Jesus walked on Earth. It bypassed the intellect. The words spoke to my soul. Perhaps the right and left halves of my brain were becoming integrated, or my head and heart were united. I realized that my linear, logical mind was not in charge of the process, but was along for the ride.
I studied the life of Jesus as ardently as any fundamentalist Christian, but not the version that they did, and without their fundamentalist beliefs. The sense I received of Jesus's life was dramatically different from the typical Christian view of his life and work. Jesus was a mystical master second to none. The feats I performed and witnessed on my journey with Silva Mind Control were baby steps compared to the mastery of Jesus. He was a living example of humanity’s potential. Walking on water, turning water to wine, raising the dead and doing the loaves-and-fishes trick seemed quite normal once I realized its nature. Jesus said that those "feats" were part of human nature, and that once we had attained our own self-mastery, we could all do those things and greater still.
Yet, all of those "feats" were merely ancillary to his primary message: love. Jesus demonstrated the power of love. Love is such a peculiar word, yet the most important. The Beatles could sing about love in every song, but that word is not used in our Western world often. What is love? It seems to be the power of Creation, or God's real name. What we feel when we think of our spouses, children, parents, and friends is a pale reflection of God's love. Our love is not unworthy, yet few of us have attained unconditional love: love for love's sake. That is the love of God and the state that Jesus attained, his Christhood, as he asked the Creator to forgive his murderers, for they did not know what they did.
From studying the Aquarian Gospel I understood that Jesus did not want to be worshipped. Paul began corrupting it, turning the good news from Jesus into the good news about Jesus. That was where Christianity made the wrong turn, from which it has yet to recover. Christianity is the cult of Jesus. Jesus lived to show us all our innate potential, and it is awesome. We can all attain the mastery of Jesus and go beyond it, and I understand that it is everybody’s destiny, someday. I have hardly picked up the book during the past 20 years, and as I wrote these words I leafed through the Aquarian Gospel, and it holds up well. Long ago, I realized that the only thing worth knowing about Jesus was love. It has been the true north of my spiritual compass ever since. The yardstick I have used ever since in assessing spiritual material, the motivation of others and myself is this: is it loving? In the end, that is all that matters to me.
Love does not judge. Pure love is unconditional. The Creator does not judge his/her creations, but loves all equally. When Jesus spoke of loving the enemy, he was talking about a level of love that few people in the past two millennia have even attempted. He was far, far ahead of his time. His "love the enemy" is perhaps the most enlightened message ever delivered to humanity.
At about the same time that I read the Aquarian Gospel and Illusions, my father introduced me to body of work that was creating a sensation in the spiritual community. It was the work of a non-physical entity named Seth, who spoke through Jane Roberts, an American. There was little to compare it to at the time. Mystics and spiritualists across the globe studied the books. Seth’s identity was a source of speculation by many, including Roberts. I did not care much about whom or what Seth was; it was what he said that got my attention. My awakened sense of truth was awed by Seth's perspective, which was loving and of unfailing good cheer. Even if he was Jane Roberts's alter ego, I had heard no mortal evince such an exalted and loving perspective. Seth looked at the BIG PICTURE of life. Along with the loving attitude was an involved and challenging perspective of our physical dimension, why we are here, and what lies beyond this reality.
The first book that Seth dictated was Seth Speaks, followed by what many, including me, feel is his magnum opus, The Nature of Personal Reality. Two books followed that nearly broke my brain, titled the Unknown Reality. When Seth's books were published, there was nothing quite like it in Western culture, particularly a prominently published book (bodies of work such as the Silver Birch and Theosophy material qualified, but were not widely known in the West in those days). Later, the term "channeling" came into vogue to describe the phenomenon. As a body of channeled work, I consider the Seth Material still one of the best. If one's intuition is not awakened, the words of Seth can be seen as gibberish, and many have dismissed it as nothing but the alter ego of a deluded woman.
In the end, the mark of enlightened material such as Illusions, the Aquarian Gospel or the Seth Material is that its message leads people back to their own integrity, the value of the individual, the power of the self, and it is always loving. Those perspectives sought no acolytes and addressed each of us as equals. If cults sprang up around them, it was not because the masters encouraged it.
While I avidly studied the masters’ teachings, my life was also barreling along. I was attending college, becoming a staunch pacifist, becoming involved with women, being a collegiate track athlete, entering the working world, driving, and growing up. At age 19, I prayed for guidance and was told that I might like studying business. That happened concurrently with girlfriends, track, work, and spiritual studies. A lot was happening, and I did not always handle events as well as I would have liked, but I have no regrets. We are all on our divine journeys, and all roads are there to be walked. Every experience is an important part of the journey, and to regret any of it is to deny our divinity. Making "mistakes" is one of life’s most important purposes. Even not learning from our "mistakes" is important, from a certain perspective, and we get as many chances as we need to get it right, and “getting it right” means learning the lesson of love. That is my understanding today, and I doubt that it will change much.
As I look back, a vital part of my journey was trying to integrate my spiritual and academic studies. I tried wedding my spiritual studies with my studies of business and economics. I tried seeing how capitalism could be an ideal vehicle for enlightened spirituality. I was in for some painful realizations. Yet, if I had not been that way, I would not have walked my path. I see a divine plan in my strange journey, and I am not sure where it will ultimately lead, but I trust the journey, although some days I whine and ask for Scotty to beam me up.
My "Easter Bunny" question evidenced the "cognitive dissonance" that I was undergoing. My spiritual training gave me the strength to question what I was seeing, because my capitalistic indoctrination was colliding with the real world. If I had no spiritual foundation, I may have quickly joined my comrades, easily dismissing the question of whether we were truly contributing to the world. I would not have really cared about the answer, as long as I was well paid. If I had played the game as my peers did, I would probably be rich today, but my soul would be gnawing at me and I would wonder when I would do something important. My dream of changing the world of energy and helping heal the planet, however grandiose that might seem, would probably have eaten at my soul like a cancer.
Eventually, the mystical student realizes that spirituality is not really about other dimensions and arcane powers. It is only valuable in how it is applied to this world in our daily lives. The old saying of being so heavenly bound that one is no earthly good applies richly to the spiritual journey. Living one’s enlightenment on the mountaintop is easy. Far more difficult and rewarding is living that enlightenment in society. In the end, there is only one Creation, one universe, and one place where we all exist. An important aspect of this plane of existence is that the path of truth abounds with paradox and dichotomy. As Niels Bohr once said, when scientists encountered a paradox, it was great news, because wrestling with paradoxes was where scientific progress was made.
As an analogy, suppose that I am a virtuoso violinist in this life. On the other side, I do not lay down my violin but join a great symphony and learn to participate in making music that I could not produce by myself. Ultimately, every one of us plays our part in Creation’s symphony, and although some of us may play solo leads at times, and some play kettledrums while others play the piccolo, every instrument is essential. On the other side, we find ourselves playing music that we doubted was possible on this side.
Research and Activities – Notes from My Journey
The first ten seconds of the Isaac Brown case that my classmate worked opened my eyes in way that they could never close, and for the next decade I investigated the abilities of consciousness. I cannot overemphasize that people need to seek their own experiences in these areas if they really want to know. Reading or listening to the experiences of others may provide hints and help people attain greater insights, but direct personal experience is where knowledge comes from.
A month after taking the Silva class, I convinced a close friend to take it. Reading auras became easy, and in his class we read everybody’s. Some were spectacular, and I can still vividly see some of them in my mind’s eye, nearly 40 years later as I write this section in 2014. I have had many psychic readings in my lifetime, and many were startlingly accurate and prescient, such as one channel that stated that I had a contract in this lifetime for a once-in-a-lifetime event that unexpectedly happened later the same day.
I had a psychic reading in the early 1990s by a Michael channel. She read me as being emotionally-centered in this lifetime, and that reading has been a touchstone ever since. We generally cannot read ourselves because our egos tend to distort the information, and I began that reading with no firm opinions about what my role, overleaves, and the like might be. I had my guesses, but they seem to have been mostly incorrect. After the reading, so much became obvious. For instance, my soul role was a mystery. Pursuing free energy can be an ego trap in many ways, as there is little “normal” about it, with perils and temptations far beyond most people’s wildest imaginings. My days chasing after free energy radicalized me, and have been the center of my life’s orientation ever since. Before that Michael reading, I thought I might be a warrior, server, or priest. If anybody was the king in that situation, it was Dennis. I was more of a knight, or even a squire. The reading was done over the phone, and the only information that the channel had was a stack of photographs of people in my life, as asking about my relationships with them was my primary intent. The reading was amazingly insightful and predictive. But readings of my personality and soul were the most impactful. When she said that I was an artisan, I was surprised, but later realized that my only possessions of note were my growing personal library, my music collection, prints of paintings, and other visual art. It was all art. I had already been doing some writing that led to this website, which is artisan work, and I performed system design at my day job. It was all standard artisan behavior, but I could not see it until I was told.
One clichй, New Agey compliment is to be called an Old Soul. Probably in the back of my mind, I thought that I might be an Old Soul, given my adventures and how I fared in them, becoming a grizzled veteran by age 30, and that part of the reading did not surprise me. My writings comprise a classic Old Soul pursuit. I once read that if artisans are “out of step” with their civilization, such as being an Old Soul in a Young Soul society, the stress of that situation can help inspire the most creative art. If nothing else, I have keenly felt that stress. There were too many accurate aspects of that reading to relate in this essay, but my earlier experiences showed how I was emotionally-centered. I could be somewhat melodramatic in my youth, and I have had psychic readings that puzzled over why that was, and being emotionally-centered can explain it, as well as explain why I used the empathic technique for performing cases. I would “wear” the head of those whom I was reading, and feel what they felt. There are many other ways to do it, but that one worked for me, and was how I diagnosed the stroke condition in the first case that I ever performed.
The reason for performing cases is helping the person and sending them energy for their use. The Silva training had many conditioning statements, and one was that such abilities should only be used for the betterment of humanity, and any abuse of those abilities would see the abuser lose those abilities. I since learned that if people abuse their psychic talents, the karmic impacts become far larger than otherwise. A soul can spend 50 lifetimes balancing the karma of one life of abusing their psychic abilities. Those conditioning statements are for everybody’s benefit. It is merely a spiritual version of the statement, “With great power comes great responsibility.” If a person gains “power” that they cannot use judiciously, it can be a catastrophe, especially for their soul’s journey, although that comes with the risks of living on Earth.
Before long, I was trying hands-on healing, and the results could be spectacular, but my “failures” saw me give up most psychic activities for many years. A person does not need to lay on their hands, and can perform long-distance healing, but being the room, mingling auras, and physically touching can intensify the experience and seems to make it more effective. The first time I tried it, that I can recall, was in college. My roommate got a lump on his arm. He had it examined at the health center, and the diagnosis was cat-scratch fever, which is an infection of the lymph nodes. The prognosis was not good. The doctor was pessimistic, and told my roommate that they would likely have to surgically remove the lump. He sent my roommate home with some drugs in a last-ditch effort to help cure the condition, but the doctor was not optimistic. My roommate told me his prognosis, and I decided to try out hands-on healing. For about ten minutes each day for the next week, I went to Level and laid my hands on the lump, and projected healing energy into his arm. When he saw the doctor a week later, the doctor was shocked to see that the lump was nearly gone. Many might credit the drugs, but in the realm of hands-on healing, those kinds of miracle healings are common, medical treatment or not. The point is to heal the person, so if the medical treatment did it and the psychic part was “placebo,” then a good healer does not dispute that interpretation, but I have had many experiences since that first one that showed me beyond any doubt that the effect is real.
Three years after that “healing” episode, my college roommate and I were roommates in Los Angeles as we began our careers. He took the Silva course the previous summer, and the instructor is our close friend today. At home, we began performing psychic experiments. One is called “mummifying” fruit. The idea was to project energy into a fruit, which would slow its decay to where the fruit would mummify instead of rot. We performed the first experiment on tomatoes. I purchased several tomatoes and chose the two that seemed most identical. They were the “perfect” kinds of tomatoes found in American grocery stores, without a blemish, as a “miracle” of American agribusiness methods, if perhaps not very nutritious. I have not used tap water for drinking since I was a teenager, and we had bottled water at home. Our first experiment was set up this way: we filled two glasses with distilled water and put one identical tomato in each one. We left the tomatoes in their glasses overnight. But for the experimental tomato, we went to Level with the glass between us on the kitchen table. We put our fingertips on the outsides of the glass and projected our energies (we just imagined the energy flowing) for about ten minutes into the tomato so that it would resist decay. The next morning I removed both tomatoes from their glasses and put them on a paper towel sitting on our kitchen counter. That was all we did. As the days passed, we just observed those tomatoes. In a few days, the control tomato began to shrink while the experimental tomato looked the same. Within about a week, the control tomato began to rot, and over the next week it grew mold, and when it began to weep at the end of two weeks, I threw it out. The experimental tomato still looked about like it did the first day. It remained about the same for the first month. In the second month, that tomato began to slowly shrivel. It was the mummification phenomenon that I had heard about. After two months, it became a tomato mummy, I finally threw it out, and I seem to recall that there was not any visible mold on it yet, or it had barely started.
Not long after that, I decided to try it with a strawberry, by myself. That was during the summer in Los Angeles. Although we lived close to the coast in Culver City, it was anything but cool. I performed the same procedure that we did with the tomatoes, but left out the glass of water aspect. I picked two identical strawberries, held the experimental strawberry between my fingertips, and projected energy into it while at Level. I then placed them on the plastic container that held our pure water. The next day when I returned home from work, the control strawberry had turned into a puddle, while the experimental strawberry looked as it did the day before. I threw out the puddled strawberry and planned to see how long the experimental strawberry would last, and how it would decay. The next day when I got home, the strawberry was missing and I thought that my roommate must have thrown it out or eaten it. We were both beginning our careers and working long hours, and were often like ships passing in the night. I did not ask my roommate about the strawberry and forgot about it. A week later, that water container was empty and I picked it up to replace it, and behind it sat my experimental strawberry. My roommate apparently bumped it off the water container, and it sat there for a week. When I discovered the strawberry, it had been eight days since I began the experiment, and that strawberry still looked pretty good. There was no mold on it, and it was slowly shriveling like the tomato did.
Many years later, I found that the effect could also be induced by using esoteric technology that was mentally “enhanced.” When Brian O’Leary began exploring the frontiers of science, he performed experiments with Marcel Vogel in which quartz crystals were precisely cut and “love energy” was mentally projected into them. Then biological materials brought into contact with the crystals would be transformed, and one effect was that food would not rot. The below image is from one of those experiments.
In those LA days, a fellow Silva graduate befriended me and we are still friends. He came over to my apartment and we worked cases and the like. I recall beginning to feel the stress of my LA days then, and I doubt that I was a very impressive caseworker in those days, but one day, sitting at my kitchen table, I began to discuss the issues that comprise the subject matter for my site, and my friends and family have called it Wade’s World ever since the movie Wayne’s World came out.
After a half hour of my Wade’s World talk, my friend said that my face changed during the talk. I looked ancient one minute and like a child the next. I had no idea what to make of that, and had never heard of it before, but in subsequent years I heard that that phenomenon was common when somebody was inspired, as their greater selves began to manifest. I am not sure if that had anything to do with past lives, what Michael calls “essence contact,” or was something else, but it did not seem to be an illusion.
In those days, I went to Level and tried retrieving past life memories. I did that sporadically for several years, kind of dabbling, but visions that came to me are with me still. They would often sneak up on me. I would be at Level, asking myself to remember part of a past life, and suddenly I was there. I was a woman healer, living in Central Europe, around today’s Poland, about a millennium ago. I often sought herbs and other plants in the forest, and one day, as a gray-haired old lady, I suddenly died in the forest, seemingly of a heart attack. Another time I was not really trying to retrieve a past life memory but I was lying in a trance on my back and arched it. Suddenly, I was an American Indian boy about ten years old, lying in the exact position with my back arched, on reddish sandstone in what seemed to be the Four Corners area of the American Southwest. I had deeply brown skin, was thin, and only wore a loincloth, moccasins, and a headband that held my long, straight black hair. Somehow, I was able to gain a perspective from outside my body, and I watched that boy running along the sandstone, at some elevation where cliffs were above and below me. I got the sense that it was a lifetime from at least several centuries ago. I can still clearly remember moments like that.
A few years later, I was with Dennis in Ventura, when my life was wrecked. I met my future wife in those days, again via a larger-than-life experience in the moment we met. I was sure that we had met before and told her so, to quickly realize that I had never met her before in this lifetime. I have not greeted anybody like that before or since, and I am sure it was another setup by my “friends.” I cannot regret my life’s journey, as it made me what I became, but it could be disconcerting to realize how somebody was pulling my strings, throwing events my way. They were usually tests, often hard ones, as I could tell in retrospect, but there were also “rewards,” such as meeting my eventual wife. Not long after those life-wrecking events in 1988, I was sitting in front of a mirror, trying a technique in which I looked at my image while at Level, and saw how my face might look different. I had tried it several years earlier and did not notice anything, but that time, my face took on sharp features. My jaw came to a point and my ears also conformed to a “triangle” look that my face had, even so that my ears were pointed. I looked like an elf. I assumed that it was some kind off illusion and closed my eyes and reopened them, looked around the room, and then back at myself, but that strange image still stared back at me. When people have such experiences, they are often mysterious but leave a deep emotional resonance which indelibly burns the memories into their minds.
I eventually led group meditations and past-life regressions, and everybody easily recovered past life memories that, as with me, seared themselves into their memories with a deep emotional resonance. I have experienced enough of it, and have helped others recover such memories, that I have no doubt of its validity. It is not just imagination. Also, a common experience is recovering memories that can be validated against historical information, such as people recalling where they lived in that lifetime, but the name they came up with was a political entity that they never heard of before. They only discovered that the name was a real one for a political entity that vanished centuries or millennia ago, after they did a little digging.
One close friend had a psychologist uncle who specialized in hypnosis to help people heal traumatic memories. The uncle did not believe in past lives, nor did he try to recover past-life memories, but one day he regressed a patient to early childhood and the person began speaking gibberish. My friend’s uncle recorded the sessions as a matter of professional recordkeeping and took the tape to experts, trying to make sense of the gibberish, thinking that it may have been some psychological outcome of the hypnosis. The tape eventually was eventually heard by some linguists at UCLA, and they said that the person was speaking an ancient Egyptian dialect.
The channeled entity that told me about that once-in-a-lifetime event that I unexpectedly had later that same day also told me that I was in a position of responsibility when Atlantis melted down, and that I have spent nearly every lifetime since then performing a spiritual penance to balance my karma. When I was told that, I immediately had the vague sense that I was female in that lifetime. In performing the study for this site’s material, particularly the essay that I will publish in 2014, I have been digesting a great deal of anthropology, including archeology, and I have seen many scientists propose real events to account for ancient myths such as flood or Atlantis legends. If Atlantis was a technologically-advanced civilization, it does not seem to have existed on this planet or this dimension of this planet. When I hear tales of Atlantis, I do not know what to make of them, but being told that I helped melt down Atlantis makes me think about it. I may well be trying to get the global energy issue resolved in this lifetime to balance my karma, and the nearly universal fear that I have seen regarding the idea of free energy may be related to ancient memories of energy abuse. That interpretation seems reasonable, but what I have seen more of is people’s addiction to scarcity, far more than a fear of destroying the planet with energy technologies.
I have known some highly accomplished psychics and psychonauts, some of whom have brought back designs for viable technologies from their inter-dimensional adventures that are used in every American home today. Some of them have visited realities like these, so I do not regard them as imaginary, but valid realities that some on Earth today will eventually experience. That second vision is one of the stars that I have steered by since the 1990s. One psychonaut viewed a past life with me when I was a woman. My ambitious father used me to marry a rival and then assassinate him, in order to steal his realm. I was caught in the act and died in my husband’s dungeon. When I heard that, I recalled many times in this life when I would stare at a wall or ceiling and think that I could cope with being imprisoned. I thought that I would often be in a trance. Also, the only time in my life when I had fleeting thoughts of murder, one imagined method was the one I tried in the life that ended in a dungeon. It was a nightmare to even have thoughts like that and was the lowest moment of my journey, but when I was told many years later of my unsuccessful “career” as an assassin, it was one of those “hmm” moments. I have wondered if my possible experiences in a dungeon had something to do with sacrificing my life to break Dennis out of jail.
Other psychics have given me past-life readings, and they described several other moments that were way over-the-top and fit neatly into dynamics of my current lifetime. I have them all on tape. In one reading I was an “uppity” former-slave-turned-entrepreneur in the Deep South who was tortured to death during Reconstruction by a person whom I rescued in this life. I broke into tears when hearing the story, which was highly unusual behavior for me. The psychic told me that I am taking care of somebody in this life who was “abandoned” by my untimely demise in that life. If so, paying back that karma has been a happy experience, and that reading also helped me understand perhaps why I have avoided America’s South in this lifetime. Who knows where any of those former and current events stand in my karmic process? I sure do not, but the connections and resonances were often very dramatic, given to me by people who had never met me before. I have come to accept such events as coming with the territory of my adventures.
Another Silva technique is where the psychic essentially prays to a higher power on somebody’s behalf and then lets it go. As I seem to recall, it was sending the “request” to the center of the galaxy or somewhere similar, and accepting the outcome. In three days the “answer” would come. Around when I was trying to heal my roommate’s cat-scratch fever, some around me were dying. I went to Level and essentially prayed for them and sent the request to that higher power, and the three times I did it, the person died almost exactly three days after my prayer. That was not my intended outcome. I was trying to help heal them, but had to accept those outcomes, which apparently was also common. When people are near death, that energy can help them move on, as every soul leaves earthly life when it decides it is time, and such prayers can help make the transition easier. That is what I heard, I do not know if it is true, but the last time I did that was nearly 30 years ago, and the last time the outcome was so painful that I stopped working with terminal patients, and that story follows.
It was 1984, and I was miserable in LA but trying to balance my hellish existence with psychic work, getting away from LA to the mountains whenever I could, and doing “good deeds.” One friend who hosted spiritual gatherings at her home called me and said that a teenage girl with leukemia needed our help. She was 17 and her family surrounded her in the hospital room, with my friend and one or two other “psychics.” The girl played hostess to us all from her bed. I was not sure of the plan, but another psychic began laying on hands, and the plan was that we would all do it, taking turns. This girl was obviously in late-stage leukemia, with a swollen spleen. To say that it was an emotionally-charged moment for me would be an understatement. In a few minutes, it was my turn, and I laid my hands on her spleen, went to Level, and surrendered to the process. My imagination was focusing like I did with the strawberry and tomato, multiplied by a million or so. My body shook and I felt a tremendous heat passing through my hands. When I finished, another psychic said that he had never seen anybody get “into it” like I just had. After we finished, the girl said that she felt an intense heat enter her through my hands, so it was not just my perception.
I came for the next three days, to lay my hands on her and be her friend, but whatever happened that first time did not happen again. On the second or third night, after laying on hands and as I was talking with her, that I realized she that was dying and that there was nothing more I could do. The fourth day, about 70 hours since my first session, I went to her hospital room and her bed was empty. I went home in a sorrowful daze and called the friend who invited me to the healing. The girl died a couple hours before I arrived. I was devastated and decided that I was not qualified for such work. I have not done that kind of work since, but I also have not been asked, and I am happy that no one has. I was four-for-four in praying or laying on hands, and the patient died within three days. I felt like an angel of death, not a healer.
I befriended the girl’s mother and we stayed in touch. Her mother had a fractured vertebra from an automobile accident, which gave her great pain and a drug addiction, and I laid hands on her neck several times over the next few months, and many years later, she told me that her neck healed soon after that, and she believed that my healing sessions did it. I later told her how hard her daughter’s death was for me, and how badly I felt that I was not able to help. She replied that when we finished working on her that first night, the atmosphere in her hospital room dramatically changed. Before we arrived, that hospital room was a place of fear, with the girl’s grandmother and aunt huddled in a corner, overcome by her impending death. But the next three days were blessedly peaceful, as if a loving balm was in the air. Worthy healers know that they are only vessels for a higher power to manifest, and I took some solace from her mother’s description of that hospital room, but all these years later, I still grieve when thinking about situation. Since then, I have happily been around loved ones soon before their deaths, and the times have always been good, but I just tell them I love them and dispense with any attempts to help heal their conditions.
Internet videos are available of John Chang, an Eastern spiritual practitioner, burning paper with his hands. I have also encountered the effect where an accomplished meditator can recharge batteries while holding them. Because of my experiences, I consider that those people have “merely” honed those talents to world-class levels, little different than becoming a professional athlete, but developing mystical talents rather than athletic ones. Just because materialistic science cannot yet explain the “mechanism” is irrelevant to the phenomenon being real. The annals of science are full of unexplained phenomena that were measured, and only much later was a theory developed to explain them. In fact, the great advances in science usually began with unexpected experimental results, such as the Michelson-Morley experiment that led to Einstein’s special theory of relativity. What those demonstrated abilities of consciousness do, however, is threaten to collapse the assumptions that underlie the materialistic paradigm that mainstream science is built upon, so the scientific establishment’s “holy warriors”, called “skeptics,” attack, discredit, and dismiss all evidence of the “paranormal.” However, they may be the most dishonest group that I have yet encountered, and that is saying something.
During my LA days, I was in several spiritual groups that were primarily comprised of Silva graduates. We performed many exercises, and I led some of them. One night, we had a spoon-bending class. There were about 30 of us in a circle. Some kind of stressed their spoons with their hands, saying that that was how they bent. That did not seem quite right to me, and most of us closed our eyes and concentrated on the bending without the stressing part. I had my eyes closed and nothing happened for me, but opened my eyes when some began exclaiming, and an old lady, the oldest person there at nearly 70, had her spoon in her hand directly across from me in the circle, and it was bent nearly in half, drooping toward the ground from where she held it. I had my eyes closed and did not see it bend, but others around me did. The woman was modest about it. When she was younger, she once took 42 units, nearly two years of courses, in one semester of college, using Silva techniques. When people bend a spoon, they often make it into a trophy and hang it on their wall or make it into a desk ornament. I later heard from the woman’s daughter, who was there that night, that the woman took the spoon home, stomped it back into being close to straight again, and then returned it her silverware drawer. I highly doubt that she was playing some sort of magician’s trick on us. I had a friend who knew of a local LA diner where a woman bent the spoons of customers while they were stirring their drinks and the like. He took a “skeptic” friend to the diner, and when the “skeptic” witnessed those spoon-bending feats he fled in terror. I heard of many spoon-bending events from the participants, and children pick it up easier than adults, as with many skills, especially psychic ones. Josй Silva’s initial research was with children, who quickly mastered the techniques, but it took several years to train the first adult.
In my LA days, I got away whenever I could and Bishop became my home away from home. I did a great deal of hiking and backpacking in the eastern escarpment of the Sierras, from Mammoth Lakes down to Mount Whitney.
During my short-lived career in Seattle in 1982 after college graduation, I attended a Silva class in Seattle. The instructor was the best I ever had, and he told many tales, one of which was that during a wilderness trip, he and his pals controlled the weather to such an extent where a hole in the cloud cover “followed” them around on their trip. One day they could see rain in every direction except for the hole in the clouds above their heads. In Richard Bach’s Illusions were fictional accounts of such activities. In 1984, my Bishop friend and I took a trip that began in Little Lakes Valley and went over the arm of Bear Creek Spire, through Lake Italy Valley, through Granite Park, and out via Honeymoon Lake. It was the most spectacular trip I ever took in the Sierras. My friend had been a ranger in that district, and it was also his most spectacular trip. The first two nights it rained on us. It was early August, and afternoon thunderstorms are typical in the High Sierra. The third day I led us over the arm of Bear Creek Spire into Lake Italy Valley. My ranger friend later said that it was the hardest pass he ever crossed, as we were climbing up a snowfield without traction gear. I led the way, kicking steps in the snow with my boots. Ignorance was bliss in that situation. As I think back, it was highly dangerous, and one slip would have meant a quick death at the end of a 500-foot fall or so. In later trips I faced death more than once, would rather die in bed, and have become far more cautious in my old age.
As we neared the ridgeline, rain clouds rolled in again. Being rained on every day is not a fun way to backpack, and as we neared the ridge I tried out psychic weather control, for the first and last time in my life. I imagined a rectangular hole in the clouds above our heads, keeping us dry. A few minutes later, we reached the ridge top and I looked up. In a mass of ominous-looking storm clouds was only one break in the sky, right above our heads, in the shape of the rectangle that I imagined. It was one of those, “Yikes, it works!” moments. However, what happened next was more memorable. Within a couple of minutes, that hole in the sky closed and the storm broke. It began hailing on us, and then a lightning bolt nearly hit us as we stood atop that ridge. My friend thought that it missed us by only a few feet, and I will not deny it. The light and sound was surreal, with the thunder seeming to roar forever. I was somehow not afraid, again probably in my ignorance, but decided that we should probably seek some shelter under a rock. My friend’s eyes showed white all around his irises, and he said that we needed to get off the ridge as fast as we could, so we galloped down the mountainside toward Lake Italy. Below are pictures of our route that day. In retrospect, the weather gods may have taught me a lesson that day, along the lines of, “If you want to control the weather, you might be playing with forces that you should leave alone.”
My years in LA to begin my career were my life’s unhappiest, and I began suffering stress symptoms during my second busy season, as 60-to-70-hour weeks were normal. I pulled several all-nighters during those early years in LA. I began to get shortness of breath, constantly gasping for air, and did not know what caused it, but the problem disappeared when the busy season ended. The next year, the stress symptoms came back and did not disappear when the busy season ended, and I gasped for air every waking hour for a year. As the next busy season approached, I finally went to a doctor. He said that I was having classic stress symptoms, and that I had better quit my job before a health disaster befell me. Just then, I was called out of town for the second year in a row, to that infamous savings and loan bank.
I was always extremely loyal to my employers, but I quickly became useless at work. I had tried getting a job in Seattle the summer of 1985, but did not have enough experience to land a job in a couple of weeks, went back to LA, defeated once again and decided that if I ever lived in Seattle, it would not be for many years. In January 1986, I had a talk with my manager. He told me that my career with the firm was finished, but my loyalty was so great that I could stay on their payroll for as long as I needed, so that I could find work. It lifted a huge burden from my back. That night, as I went home to my apartment (it was not in LA, but the apartment that I had on that out-of-town job), I was nearly euphoric. As I approached my apartment door, I could not find my apartment and office keys. I had not lost my keys before or since in my lifetime, and immediately knew that something was up. My “friends” were jerking my strings once again, but I did not know why. I still use the key ring that my father gave me when I was 16, but those lost keys were on a ring holding out-of-town keys. I tried to imagine where I lost them, and about the only possibility was the parking lot of the office building where I worked, which was in a bad part of town.
It was raining, at night, and I drove several miles back to the building. As I drove into the parking lot, a scene from the movies greeted me. The parking lot was empty, and as I pulled into it, a woman ran at my car in my headlights, and a car was following her, as if it would run her over. She was frantically waving at me and came to the passenger’s side of my car. I opened the door while the car was still rolling, and she leapt in and screamed that we needed to escape fast. I drove past the oncoming car and kept going; it did not turn and around and follow us. When it became evident that we were not being followed, I looked at my passenger. She was a young woman of about 18 years who had a swollen eye and bleeding facial cuts. I asked if I could take her to a hospital, but she said that she just needed some antiseptic and bandages. She said that she was a prostitute who had just finished transacting business with the customer in that car that was chasing her. Instead of paying her, the customer began beating her and she somehow escaped. He began to chase her in his car as I drove into the parking lot. She probably escaped as she saw a car pulling into the parking lot. I bought some first aid and took her to my apartment to treat her. Then I drove her home, which was across the street from my office building. That ordeal lasted a couple of hours. I gave her some money and left to find my keys. Just as I drove into the parking lot, about a hundred meters ahead something glistened like a beacon in the darkness. As I drove up, it was my key ring.
I have had many larger-than-life experiences on my journey, but that scene ranks in my top 20 for sheer preposterous drama, and it was one more “test” that my “friends” inflicted on me. The next day at the office, the receptionist found me and said that a young woman was asking for me at the front desk. Then my dance with the hooker began, which lasted for a month. She thanked me for saving her and asked for more money, and I gave it to her. I had spent several months in Skid Row LA during my first year in LA and became streetwise in that urban hell. I could see that she was going to get whatever she could from me, and I let it play out, but decided that a thousand dollars would be my limit. By the end of that month, it was about a thousand dollars, which included bailing her out of jail and paying her when she said that I could either pay her or she would work the streets to get it. She later admitted that her “husband” took most of the money I gave her and used it for drugs. I gradually came to understand her background and life. She was raised by hippies who got her stoned for the first time when she was seven, and she was on her own by about age 15. She had a child that the state took away and was raising in an orphanage. One time when she said “pay me or I will go out hooking to raise it,” it was to allegedly get a gift for her child. I was the only person on Earth helping her, and I did not have the heart to say no. I finally said no when she was arrested for jumping the bail I put up. It was not a malicious bail-jumping, as the police picked her up on her usual street corner when she did not appear for her hearing. When I left that engagement and went back to LA, she was in jail.
But during that month, as she asked me for money on most days, I began to develop an understanding of how she became the way she was, and she never had a chance. Calling her parents “hippies” was probably a euphemism, just the contemporary label given to people like that. It was not completely mercenary on her part. She gave me a Polaroid picture of her with her child, maybe the only one that she had, and I still have it.
A month later, I met Dennis Lee. I look back as that being the last “test” that my friends had for me before they launched me at Dennis. In LA, I was forced to eat meat and drink alcohol, and I had a battle with the bottle that I did not win until the year 2000. My LA days took an awesome toll, but I soon looked at them almost like the good old days.
Of all the larger-than-life events in my journey, none have been as spectacular as that voice in my head. People have told me that anybody who admits to a voice in their head is probably crazy, but they do not understand. Desperately praying for guidance, and receiving the answer in your head the next morning, and those were the only times that you heard the voice, is not how it works with “crazy” people. Crazy people cannot control when they hear the voice, and the messages that I received changed my life’s direction. That is not craziness, although I am sympathetic to that sentiment by the uninitiated. All that I can do is report what happened.
A few days after returning home to LA, I contacted recruiters and began looking for work. It is a long story but, in essence, I had been suffering from stress symptoms continually for the previous year and was in no shape to look for work in the last place on Earth where I wanted to live, but I felt trapped. I had dark rings around my eyes and gasped for air each breath. Friends back then said that I looked like I was 40, not 27.
I wanted work near my home in Redondo Beach so I that would not have to brave the freeways every day, as I had done for the past three years. I averaged about an hour-long commute to work, which was usually not in downtown LA where my office was, but at the offices of clients that dotted the LA area, from Woodland Hills to Riverside to Newport Beach. I usually slept on friends’ floors when the commute was two hours each way, and an associate even slept on my couch one day, when he would have had to commute more than two hours to work for me the next day.
The jobs I was qualified for were largely in the industrial wasteland areas of LA, which were nearly as hellish as Skid Row, or jobs for which I had to regularly travel, and I was burned out on business travel after spending about seven months out of town in my three years in LA. After doing some interviews and getting a job lead from my manager, I realized that I was trapped in hell. That day, eight years after the voice first spoke to me and changed my studies from science to business, I had hit rock bottom once again, dreading the next day. For the second and so far last time in my life, I desperately prayed for guidance. The next morning, it was not as dramatic as my first waking thought like the first time, but in the first hour the voice said that I should just move to Seattle. Even if I could not find work, it sure beat living in hell. I had given up on the idea of living in Seattle anytime soon the previous summer, but I was jumping up and down. That was on Tuesday. By Saturday, I was driving to Seattle, and on Monday I arrived at my grandparents’ home in Seattle. It would be my fourth attempt to live in Seattle, but I was planning to never leave again, no matter what. But my “friends” had other plans for me. A local company whose products I used and liked I was planning to apply to, and with my talents I have little doubt that I could have landed a job with them. They were about to become a company whose stock was publicly traded, but before I had a chance to apply to Microsoft, I ended up meeting Dennis. Four days after arriving in Seattle and ten days after that voice spoke to me, I was interviewing at Dennis’s company, and the rest is history. I have never heard of another story like that.
My first interview was with the controller, the second was with Dennis and his wife and they hired me on the spot, which was when my adventures really began. In November of that year, with tears in my eyes and leaving behind a girlfriend whom I met in characteristically extraordinary circumstances, as my “friends” obviously tested me again, I drove from Seattle to Boston, while stopping in Southern California on the way to service my car (1973 Pinto) and see my friends and family.
Jane Roberts, the original Seth channel, died in 1984, and was one of my earliest and best mystical influences. While in Southern California on the way to Boston in November 1986, my Silva instructor friend said that somebody else was channeling Seth, and I attended a Seth session held in a hotel. I still have the tape of that session. There were nearly a hundred people there, but for the first several minutes it was just Seth and me. My car broke down on the way to LA from Ventura that night, and my Silva friend had to rescue me on an LA freeway and take me to the session. The next morning, my father and I retrieved my car next to the freeway, which somehow had not been stripped (Pintos did not make attractive targets for car thieves). I was a little wound up, meeting Seth in those circumstances, and it showed. My Silva friend said that he could tell that Seth was delighted with our exchange. As I discovered during the 50 sessions that I attended a few years later, when I was incredibly working in LA again, Seth’s specialty was emotions, so an emotionally-centered person like me was his ideal pupil.
The channel worked with his eyes closed. I was on one end of the room, and when our several amazing minutes finished, he turned his back to me and addressed somebody on the other side of the room. A minute or two later, I was wondering if my tape recorder was taping properly, and I glanced down at it on the floor, and as my hand had barely left my lap to check on the recorder, Seth stopped talking in mid-sentence and said “Are we paying attention?” as he turned around, with my hand frozen in the act of moving toward my recorder. I said “No!” and the audience burst into laughter. In those 50 subsequent sessions, Seth never demonstrated such abilities to me again. I did not go there doubting that he was real, as one friend did who was there that night. He demonstrated his reality to me in a way where let me know that he read my mind, and he entertained the class at the same time. It was a gift to me.
In those 50 sessions that I attended a few years later, I saw some amazing sights that demonstrated quite dramatically that we were not watching an actor hoodwink us, but some powerful entities were coming through. They were incidental events, but for those with eyes to see, they were highly impressive demonstrations that we were witnessing something extraordinary.
When I left Southern California in 1990, after my life had been shattered and I had been radicalized, my wife got us a new cat, as her former one did not survive our moving process. I became our new cat’s favorite human, and we had her for 17 years. After a couple of years with us, one winter’s day I read my wife this passage out of Robert Shapiro’s channeled Awakening to the Animal Kingdom, in his chapter on cat consciousness:
“Sometimes a cat will hunt a beautiful bird, chew it up in front of you, deposit it on your doorstep and seem to say proudly, ‘Here, a gift for you.’ The cat is letting you know what life is really about for animals. Death is in continuity. That bird has put itself into me voluntarily. The bird allowed itself to join its brother cat’s body, and return to Earth through the cat. Cats will always feel themselves connected to the One Great Spirit.”
I have read aloud to my wife only a few times. A few minutes after reading that passage, our cat wanted to go outside. It was night, in January, with several inches of snow on the ground. She never went outside when it was like that, but whatever my cat wanted, she got. I expected that she would remain outside for a couple of minutes at most before she wanted back in. She did want in a couple of minutes later, but when I let her back in, she had a mouse in her mouth! In all the years that she lived with us, she never went out in the snow and caught something and brought it in, except that one night, a few minutes after reading that passage to my wife. I am still dumfounded at how she found a mouse in a couple of minutes, in the deep snow, but we heard her message loud and clear. She brought captured animals into our home less than 10 times in 17 years, and only did it twice in the two years that we lived in that apartment.
I do not want to revisit many details of when that voice spoke to me for the third and last time, and that time unbidden. Mr. Professor’s death devastated me, even though I saw him in his heaven and he sent me an undeniable and startling vision, which his wife later told me was his favorite scene on Earth. Because that event sent me into the dark phase of my midlife crisis, a phase that lasted for several years, I call that voice my “friends” in quotes because I am not sure that they are really my friends. Or if they are, that was one hell of a journey to send me on, and I do not want to do it anymore.
This account only hits the “highlights” of numerous paranormal and ludicrous events that attended my journey. Meeting Brian O’Leary was similar to how I met Dennis, and I also carried Brian’s spears until his premature death, courtesy of the USA’s military. Since I left Brian’s organization about the same time that he understandably fled to South America, I have been trying to live a quiet life, especially when I realized in 2008 how close I came to going to prison when I was last with Dennis.
However, I am not quite as “retired” as maybe I should be. In 2005, I was invited to go watch UFOs near Mount Adams, and was not disappointed. But I discovered the next year that it was another example of my beginner’s luck, and that I could not really share my experiences with others, which was very frustrating.
In 2010, I was invited by one of Brian’s colleagues to swim with wild (also called “free”) dolphins. It was similar in that I received the red carpet treatment, but I had to be told that I was receiving it because I had no frame of reference. I traveled thousands of miles to swim with dolphins, and an encounter was by no means guaranteed. A few minutes before the encounter, when my guide told me that the odds were good but less than certain, I was thinking to myself that I had come one hell of a long way for, “Maybe you will have an encounter.” I had been doing my Wade’s World talk so loudly that my guide asked me to be quieter (my half-deafness has something to do with that, along with being emotionally-centered and talking about my highly-charged subject matter). A few minutes later, the dolphins arrived. We swam out to meet them. Below are some images from the movie my guide made.
I am the person in all of those images. I had my hands clasped so as to not alarm the dolphins; many people try to touch them, which is not a healthy practice. We had the dolphins to ourselves for about 15 minutes, and some in our little group tried to interact with them while I hung back. I had no idea what to expect, and the endless jumping of the dolphins seemed normal. One jumped over my head, and one came within arm’s length, meeting my eye. That was what I came for, but early in our encounter my guide looked across the water at me and said, “I don’t know who you are, but I have been doing this for 20 years and I have never seen anything like this before.” When the encounters were over, my guide said it was in his top-ten experiences with dolphins, out of thousands. It was more of that beginner’s luck, and as with UFOs, I should probably never go back and try to share it with anybody. But I think that the dolphins read my mind, liked the idea of free energy and a healed planet, and responded accordingly. As I mingled with the local dolphin community, which included scientists, they all had experiences that demonstrated very conclusively that dolphins read minds, and they all considered dolphins their peers, not “animals.” My experiences seemed typical, if highly unusual for a first encounter.
Those are enough experiences to relate, I think, and they were among my more spectacular “paranormal” events, but they were my experiences, not anybody else’s. I do not expect anybody to be convinced of anything except by their own experiences. Those are merely notes from one man’s journey. It might be an unbelievable journey, and I even sometimes recall events in my adventures and wonder if they really happened. But they were all too real, and my near-photographic memory will not let me forget their reality. My experiences might help inspire people to seek theirs, but people need their own experiences, which is where knowledge comes from.
It might seem like I am not counting my blessings, but I have always been amazed by accounts of out-of-body and near-death experiences, which I have never had, and I have been nearly envious of those who had them, even though a person nearly dies to have a near-death experience. When I think of my experiences, that is a silly sentiment. I have had my fair share and then some. No need to be greedy.
Here are a few editorial observations. I have encountered many mystical charlatans. I doubt that many of them were faking their paranormal abilities, but were abusing them to make money, build New Age harems, and the like, and they were usually men who took particular advantage of women looking for enlightened men. They all had mystical haircuts and charming patter, and the gullible and non-discerning are easy prey for mystical hucksters, and those predators and parasites will have challenging afterlives and might spend many lifetimes balancing their karma. In the Southern California New Age scene, that phenomenon was rampant, but I also saw it everywhere that I lived. For every genuine saint there were a hundred pretenders, and it was more like a thousand in Southern California.
This account has nothing to do with belief or faith, and I avoid using such words; they are part and parcel of organized religion and the terminology of people bereft of experience. Brian was a staunch advocate of scientific testing of paranormal phenomena, and performed many experiments. Organized religions and cults are distortions of spirituality and are often enlightenment’s greatest adversaries.
Not all extra-physical entities are of the light. The mystical student needs great discernment to safely navigate these realms, and the best protection is to have a loving heart and try to be helpful. In our world of scarcity, many will take advantage of it, and that is a risk of having an open heart. However, nobody that I respect in these areas regrets their journeys, even though they were always rough ones.
Serving Ourselves and Serving Others
Whether people believe in an immortal soul, or believe that their existence is dependent on their body's chemistry, every earthly human can probably agree upon one idea: we all have a physical body. Because we all have bodies, and they all have needs such as air, water, food, shelter, sex, etc., to an extent we are all "self-serving" as we care for our bodies. Since it takes two people to procreate, and few have a tropical island to themselves or can survive alone on a mountaintop, humans interact.
To the extent that humans interact, we serve each other's needs. People are other-serving when seeing to others’ needs, and self-serving when seeing to their own. All humans engage in both activities. According to nearly all mystical material, that interaction is the primary reason we are here. We evolve our souls by inhabiting this dimension, interacting with each other (including animals, plants, Mother Earth, etc.) helping and hurting each other, and living with the consequences. Even for people who believe that oblivion awaits them at death, they can probably relate to the self-serving/other-serving dichotomy.
Throughout our lives, we constantly make decisions whether to serve ourselves or serve others. Infants are totally focused on survival. Parents are (usually) totally focused on that infant's well being. The infant is self-serving, the parent other-serving. As with all decisions in life, especially when humans interact, the question of whom we are serving is constantly with us, and can make seemingly straightforward decisions more complicated. Why do parents have children? Is it to give life where there was none, passing on the blessings they received? Is it to breed a farmhand, somebody to exploit today and perhaps support them when old and feeble? Is it to have built-in friends, built-in sex slaves, or a built-in retirement plan? Is it a bid for immortality? Do people do it in a moment of lust, not thinking or caring about the consequences of bringing a child into the world? Is their own motivation to serve the child or themselves? Is it both? Is it to serve the Creator? Is it to ensure species survival? It can appear extremely complicated, but always comes down to whom is being served.
I cannot think of a single human interaction in which the issue of it being self-serving or other-serving does not apply. The ideal is getting as good as we give, being self-serving and other-serving at the same time, or balancing the scales in the end. The Beatles sang, "The love you take is equal to the love you make." Our motivations are not always clear to others, or sometimes even to ourselves. Even the issue of self can become contentious. Is the "self" the body? What is called the consciousness? Is the self the individual, the tribe, the nation, the universe, the soul? Is it all of the above? Most people think of the conscious mind and the body it inhabits as the “self.”
Most people on Earth are mostly self-serving. Stated another way, if all human decisions made in one day were weighed by relative scale (where helping an old lady across the street would not count as much as jumping in front of a train to save somebody's life), sorting to one-side the self-serving actions and other-serving actions to the other, the scale would tip to the self-serving side.
There is tremendous variation with each person, each day. A nursing mother is generally other-serving when she nurses her infant. When she feeds herself, she is serving herself, although part of her motivation may be being healthy in order to properly care for her infant.
Most mystical sources state the reason we are here is to learn about love, to remember who we are - divine children of Creation, and in fact, the Creator itself. A life lived in service to others is apparently the most "worthwhile." Few people ever achieve such a lofty goal on earth. People who do so become "saints," religious icons, and beloved heroes. The quality that "elevated" them was often their love and consideration for others, but a predominantly other-serving life is an ideal that few attain.
Yet, each person has "heroic" moments. The mother awakening to cries at 2 AM and soothing her child, the father awakening at 5 AM to earn the family's daily bread, and jumping in front of a train to save somebody's life can all be profoundly other-serving activities. But on balance, most people are primarily concerned with caring for themselves.
A deeply profound body of mystical literature is the Ra material, which presents an intriguing view of a soul's evolution. In Ra's perspective, ensouled entities on the physical plane mostly fall somewhere between 50% self-serving and 95% self-serving. Ra discussed planetary evolutions and an event known as a "harvest." A harvest happens when an ensouled being masters its physical plane lessons and is "promoted" to the game's next level. Ra did not discuss good or evil, but positive and negative “polarization." Positive polarization is equated with an other-serving mentality, and negative polarization is equated with the self-serving mentality. Ra called it "love of other self" and "love of self." Ra stated that if an ensouled being devotes greater than 50% of its energy to serving others, it is eligible for harvest on the service-to-others path. If an entity devotes greater than 95% of its energy to serving itself, it is eligible to be harvested on the service-to-self (or love of self) path.
Both paths require intense dedication. On today's earth, few are eligible for harvest on either path (Ra stated that 20% of the human race may be eligible for harvest today). Ra stated that Genghis Kahn, Rasputin, Hermann Goering, and Heinrich Himmler were all harvestable on the love-of-self path (otherwise called self-serving, negatively polarized, evil, or what I call the dark path).
Ra made no judgment regarding the paths and even stated that the two polarities are required so that souls can evolve through this plane. Without the tension that those poles create, there would be no growth. Other planes have other means of growth. Ra also called the path of love-of-other-self the "study of what is," and the path of love-of-self the "study of what is not."
Those polarities can also be described as the paths of light and darkness, good and evil, etc. Whereas the path of light is committed to truth and love, the path of darkness is committed to deception and fear. Ra described further dimensions of existence that pursue those paths. It is a fascinating perspective that this essay cannot do justice to. It provides a framework to understand interactions between beings on this plane and beings in others, how humans evolve on the physical plane, and the soul's journey. Others have called the path of serving others the path of service-to-self through service-to-others. Ra said that the dark path leads to a dead end of sorts. The study of "that which is not" is valid, and many valuable lessons are learned along the way. As that path is progressed, higher levels of power and understanding are attained. Along the light path are constantly increasing levels of expansion and integration into creation. Along the dark path there are constantly increasing levels of concentration and withdrawal into one's perceived self. Along the light path there is an eventual reunification with the source of creation, the ultimate coming home. The source of creation is love, and that force created and sustains not only this universe, but also all of creation.
Because love is the power of creation, love is the game that humans are learning, because we are learning to be creators at Earth School. There are no spiritual lightweights on the planet at this time. This is an extremely challenging place to be. As the light path leads to a wondrous reunion with the creator, those at the dark path’s highest level also realize that a reunification with The Source is its next step. When a highest-level dark path being attempts that reunification, it gets a rude awakening: the dark path does not lead home. As it is the study of "that which is not," the entire path is ultimately one of illusion and self-deception.
As that highest-level dark path entity "knocks on God's door," God’s greeting is approximately:
"I am happy that you are here, but I have news for you. You are a being of light, not darkness. You trod your path because I gave you the freedom to choose it. But it was not real, not in the way you might think. I am proud of you, my child, but there is an important lesson that your path has not taught you, and the lesson you must learn before you can come home. You cannot fit in here, as much as I would like you to. You could not stand it. I created you and everybody else. I love you, as I love all my creations. Your path has led you here, but loving yourself, while an important lesson, is only part of the journey. The journey is not complete until you love all of creation, as I do. You have racked up quite a tally. You incurred many debts to others as you failed to love them, and only loved what you thought of as yourself. As you failed to love others, you also failed to truly love yourself. You owe yourself a great debt that you can only pay while serving others. I have a deal for you. All the mastery, all the wisdom, all the greatness that you attained on your path, which is indeed impressive, you can exchange for an equivalent status on the path of light. From that exalted rank of light, you will labor long to settle your debts, make right your wrongs, and bring as much light to creation as you earlier brought darkness. I think you will find that loving others is highly rewarding, not only to yourself, but also to others. You have a choice. You can stay where you are, at the dark path's highest level, where you can progress no further, because there is nowhere else to go. Or, you can accept my offer, working magnificently with me, engaging in fabulous work on behalf of creation, and when you have balanced your scales, you can come home, and it will be glorious."
The Ra Material is popular and highly regarded. More obscure are two recent books by Gina Lake, channeled by "extraterrestrials." Her themes are similar to Ra's.
The dark path is self-serving, and a primary goal is exploiting others. They see others as there to serve their needs. While light path beings live by love, the dark path’s motto is, "Look out for number one." They believe that looking out for themselves is the only valid concern, and they see light path beings as naпve and foolish. Dark pather afterlives are not pleasant. The dark path is an inverted view of creation. Put another way, the dark path is an attempt to become the creator without love. It is an impossible dream, but such is the dark path's folly, the study of that which is not.
What goes around comes around, and dark path initiates realize that God created with love, and God's creations love it back. There is a feedback effect, whereby the love of God's creations also help sustain God. In the inverted dark path perspective, the thinking is that manipulating others is how creation functions. Dark pathers think that love is weak and better dispensed with. Fear is "what it is all about" to them. They have yet to realize that love is the greatest power, and indeed the only power. God's creations ideally give love back to God as freely as God gave it to them. In the dark pathers' inverted perspective, they believe that the exhilaration of the fear that they experience is creation's essence, and they induce fear in others and receive a feedback effect, which nourishes themselves. They think that God does something like that. Their understanding is inverted. Fear is the absence of love, and in the dark path's inverted logic, they feel that if they can inspire fear in others, they are becoming creators.
As stated in Lake's The Extraterrestrial Vision, those dark path initiates are acting appropriately, in light of their beliefs. She summarizes the situation on Earth regarding the committed self-servers with:
"Self-servers are as diverse as any random group of people. They work in many different professions, but are particularly drawn to ones involving power. Much of the corruption in business and government is perpetrated by self-servers, many of whom are highly intelligent. They are never found in service professions, except as impostors or con men who prey off those in need. They have no sympathy for the needy, because they believe everyone should be self-sufficient. They believe that those who can't take care themselves will learn to take care of themselves by being taken advantage of. Consequently, they feel a spiritual duty to take advantage of the weak."
Lake's material evokes Ra's perspective, as well as another extraordinary body of work known as the Michael material, which has been produced by various channels. As souls evolve through the physical plane, they progress through “soul ages,” which can be likened to the changing perspectives that human beings pass through as they progress from birth through old age. Generally, the more lives we live, the more our souls evolve and become "older." I have never seen channeled material that does not admit that reincarnation is a fact, although a number of the Eastern religions' distortions are not necessarily valid.
Some dark path goals are inciting fear in others and recruiting others to their path. They are nourished by fear, in a pathological way. In chapter 8 of Barbara Marciniak's Bringers of the Dawn is another perspective of the dark path. It appears that dark path entities that have evolved beyond physical plane realities, such as Genghis Kahn, are helping humanity stay in fear, because fear creates an energy that nourishes them. A humanity in fear, bathed in violence and misery, is something that they thrive on. Humanity has proved a most productive herd for negative emotional "nectar."
In a first-person account by Michael Roads, in his mind-blowing Into a Timeless Realm, he saw those beings that keep humanity in misery because they thrive on it. Those parasitic beings did not create the conditions of human misery - humans largely did that to themselves - but they capitalized on it and furthered it by using deceptive and secret tactics.
Michael Topper and his wife echo those themes in Topper's peculiar prose. The theme of dark path beings thriving on fear, even to the point of inducing fear in people, extracting chemicals that fear produces in the human body, then bathing in it, are in Topper's writings.
What is the Relevance to My Work?
To bring this essay back to "Earth," how does it relate to my work? Self-servers on this planet are in it for themselves. They feel a duty to exploit others. Evil is their business, as they profit from the misery and exploitation of others. This site documents many extremely dark situations, and many people refuse to believe that people will actively and consciously create situations in which others suffer and die. They cannot believe that people could act so "diabolically." Dark path initiates depend on that denial. Hitler made a similar comment in Mein Kampf.
Because the dark path is the study of that which is not, deception and secrecy are their tools, which is largely how the USA’s government operates. In the end, the dark path folks’ greatest victims are themselves, and the most deceived chumps of all are themselves, as they completely misunderstand who and what they are. The greatest deception is self-deception. It takes two to tango, and while dark path beings play their games they actively deceive others, and their greatest victory is not forcing people to do their bidding, but having them freely choose to.
Dark path initiates know that few will consciously let themselves be used by dark path practitioners. So, they must deceive people into serving dark path interests instead of their own. That is not an easy trick. Most people are consciously committed to neither path. They worship comfort and merely try surviving. Full bellies, a roof over their heads, and their addictions temporarily sated are primary goals of the vast majority of humanity at this time. Most people can be called "good," because they will try doing the "right" thing if it does not cost them too much, and usually will not spend much effort to hurt others. About half of Americans would return a wallet they found on the ground, provided it did not have too much money in it. My experiences ruefully showed me that it goes little further than that, however.
How can the dark path folks exploit people, while having them believe that their actions serve the common good? Dark path initiates commonly use a singularly effective tactic: enslaving people while telling them they do it to protect them. When the FDA relentlessly wipes out cancer cures that actually work while throwing doctors into jail, or Dennis is thrown into jail on fabricated charges to prevent free energy from becoming publicly available, or a life insurance company that specializes in selling term insurance because all other policies are scams is ruthlessly attacked by police state tactics, the stated rationale is always "protecting the public."
Protecting the public is the world's largest protection racket, and the vast majority of humanity pays dearly for such “protection.”
Dennis often said, "Put a man in a big enough cage, and he thinks he is free." The most effective prison is one in which its prisoners do not realize that they are in prison, and those prisoners will believe almost any clever lie, as long as believing it keeps their bellies full.
The dark path is dark indeed. In the family of light, ties of mutual love bond them together. In the family of dark, it is mutual self-interest. They work together not for love of each other. They might experience some light and often-phony camaraderie, but they generally fear and hate each other. Each realizes that they cannot subjugate an entire planet or galaxy by themselves, so they need comrades of like mind. They are always watching their backs around each other, as they know that everybody is in it for themselves. There can only be one Emperor of the Universe, and they all want the title, so the kinds of power plays that occur in their circles most would rather not hear about. In addition, their conspiracies and plans are always in danger of falling apart, because they cannot work in unison very effectively. They are all vying for power with each other. When people blindly follow orders, they are putty in a dark pather’s hands, and used to keep those below them in the hierarchy in line.
Most young men would never willingly kill people in war, if left to themselves. Consequently, a system has been devised to glorify violence, dehumanize the "enemy" (young men just like them), shield them from war's realities until they are on the battlefield, condition them to obey orders and call them cowards and even execute them if they do not obey. Wars are always created and egged on by dark path initiates, and the masses fall into line as they have given away their responsibility to the "powerful." A twist on the “protection” racket is having people support violence to “save” somebody, or “get” the bad guys, such as riling up Americans to cheer the bombing of Iraq, Yugoslavia, or Afghanistan. The dark path folks laugh heartily as the American people fall for it each time, as they help bring humanity to the brink of self-annihilation.
Einstein once remarked that human stupidity is a truly infinite aspect of our universe, and dark path members eagerly exploit it. They play to people’s sense of helplessness and feelings of victimization by selling violence as a remedy for the world’s ills, as if there were no other choice. The demonization of Saddam Hussein, Manuel Noriega or Slobodan Milosevic (or America’s demon of the hour in the early 21st century, Osama bin Laden) is merely state propaganda and the masses fall for it every time. Indonesia’s Suharto made them all look like choirboys, but he always did our bidding, so he was a respected ally who we heavily armed. Hussein, Noriega, and bin Laden were lauded American allies while they did our bidding, and became demons when they failed to. The dark path folks smile every time people support violence, as they know it always leads to more violence, and they truly get thrills out of bloodshed (as long as it is not their blood being shed) and the suffering of others. Millions of people cheering massive violence wreaked against distant peoples is a dream come true for dark path initiates.
"Power" as discussed in this essay is not true power. Love is the only power. The earthly power of controlling and manipulating others to one’s will is counterfeit power. It is stealing the power of others. True power comes from within. Detonating a nuclear bomb is "powerful" in its own way, but is a pale and dark imitation of real power, which dark path initiates have yet to learn.
Val Valerian, in his Matrix III, established broad categories to classify humanity into, with rough percentages. It relates somewhat to the light-dark polarity. Valerian did not present his data to expressly deal with the integrity issue, but it has a relationship and gives rough numbers. Valerian sees it in terms of those who give away their personal power. It can also be seen as serving themselves. Most people do not want to be responsible for their lives, and arriving at a new level of integrity and taking back their responsibility has a price. When faced with the decision to be responsible for one's life, more than half of humanity at this time readily falls back into complacency, is easily controlled, and gives up their freedom for comfort and "security." As Ben Franklin once observed, those who trade their freedom for security deserve and receive neither. About a quarter of the human race feels there is something wrong with the picture, but shuffles along with the herd nevertheless. About 10% know there is something not quite right, and have tried to do something about it at some level, but were repressed in one way or another and still shuffle along with the herd. A few percent have figured it out and have broken away from the herd. About 5% of humanity are committed self-servers, and actively and knowingly use others for their own ends. Those numbers relate to the integrity issue. Those few who have broken away from the herd are mainly other-serving. The 10% have tried to be other-serving and are to a degree, but have been beaten back into line. More than 80% of humanity makes up the "Great Herd" and is easily manipulated. The 5% manipulator class is composed of those on the dark path.
Those are general categories and percentages, and are only for illustration, not to be taken literally to two decimal points. That category of 5% dark path initiates has various levels of accomplishment and commitment. The dark path is not forever, either. Eventually, all dark path initiates wake up. Not many reach that highest level of dark path evolution and meet the creator, to be told that they cannot get home on their path. Most figure it out before then, after getting a bellyful of the pain and suffering that attends their path, and eventually revert and pursue the light path. An initiate who attains the "mastery" of the dark path, equivalent to a Genghis Kahn is far less than 5% of the population. A Genghis Kahn is one in many millions. On the light path, a Jesus or a Buddha attained levels of mastery that have proven to be one in billions on Earth, so far.
Being other-serving is the ideal, and the vast majority of humanity loves other-servers, partly because they get something out of the deal, and the 95% of us not on the dark path can be inspired by their lives. That 80+% of humanity will not accept personal responsibility for their lives and rather easily relinquish it. They look for other-servers to give it to. That is their great folly. Other-servers realize that nobody should give their power away, and usually do not seek positions of earthly power. As Lake's ET friends stated, the self-servers seek power and can be found flocking to positions of power as moths flock to light bulbs. Self-servers engage in a charade. They masquerade as other-servers and ask the masses to give them their power (responsibility) so they can serve the "common good." As Dennis has said, they serve humanity all right, they serve up a plateful that they feast on every night. It is not always the case, but those in positions of power in today's world are largely self-serving.
Because of the game that humanity plays today, other-servers can fill those "powerful" roles, not because they lust for it, but they realize it is a way to counterbalance the self-servers, as they hope to help steer the masses toward a brighter future. It is dangerous work, not only due to the many temptations, but they are swimming with the sharks. Every self-server in public life says that they are an other-server, battling all the self-servers. Nobody stands up and says that they are a “bad guy.” Everybody sees themselves as good guys, rationalizing their deeds, whatever they may be, no matter how dark.
Many years ago, I read about the shantytowns that ring Latin American cities such as Buenos Aires, Rio de Janeiro, Sгo Paulo, etc., where life is nearly unbearable. Life is cheap there, and children are on their own on the streets, trying to survive with no parents, at age three. Life there is so horrible that a class of children assassins developed called pistoleros; they were guns for hire, committing murder for a price. Life was so cheap that they would murder somebody for as little as five American dollars. One teenage assassin righteously defended his profession, saying, "There will always be bad people who need to be killed. I am providing a public service." For as little as five dollars, that pistolero would be convinced that you were a bad person who needed to die.
While discussing assassins, it is worth mentioning that they are usually men. Women have an inside edge on the light path over men. They have bodies designed to serve others. Their wombs and breasts are designed to nourish life. They are more inclined to be other serving than men. That does not make women "better" than men. Neither gender is superior, and humans all spend plenty of lives as each. The coming age, if we make it, will have a balance between the sexes, with each fully appreciated for its distinct and valuable qualities. The world's situation today can be seen as the male principle out of control. That perspective can be seen in many areas, such as the endless wars, the environmental rape (raping Mother Earth), or male-based Western "medicine," as the body is seen as a battlefield, and the only legal medicines are drugs and surgical procedures, violent methods that violate the body's integrity. Healing is feminine work.
Regarding light workers in politics, although Abraham Lincoln's tenure as president had many dark and bloody events, and Lincoln was a lawyer and politician, with all the unsavory ramifications of those professions, Ra said that in 1853 Lincoln's soul made a deal with a fourth dimensional light being. Lincoln then became a "walk-in," whereby another entity inhabited Lincoln's persona, and the great labors of his last 12 years were accomplished by a great light being. I will not contradict it, although many people in the South may not agree with that assessment. Ramtha has called Lincoln America's "greatest king." The imperial impulse had much to do with keeping the union together.
There are more other-servers in the CIA than Ralph McGehee and the few other CIA employees who spoke out as he did. Ralph's intelligence was not what enabled him to figure it out, but his pure heart. The CIA psychologically screens its fieldwork applicants to try hiring people who blindly follow orders. For every Ralph McGehee who took the high, hard road, numerous other CIA employees at one level or another eventually saw the big picture. Some quickly became disillusioned and quit the CIA, and got a "real job" or became a missionary or other undertaking designed to serve humanity. Others developed a gradual uneasiness over the years as their experiences contradicted their indoctrination. At some point, the CIA ceased to be fun and they left. Others gradually felt the pain of having their ideals and reality clash, but developed coping behaviors such as drinking and other dysfunctions. Some devoted their spare time to charity work or something else that they saw as truly helping.
Others figured it out as Ralph did, but did not have the courage to take his path. As with Ralph, they were too far along in their careers to practically change into another. They watched the calendar, counting the days to retirement, drinking themselves into a stupor each night to live with their situation and exemplifying a life of quiet desperation.
In his In Search of Enemies, John Stockwell wrote about CIA case officers who return to the CIA headquarters at Langley from abroad (as Ralph McGehee did) and the reception they receive:
"Case officers often come back unnoticed, drained by their experiences and haunted by their consciences, by the suspicion that the things they had done were pointless as well as cruel. They rarely have the same sparkle and drive on the next assignment - or the next. In offices throughout headquarters were those who had given up, who were walking out their years before early retirement, becoming grey fixtures like safes and Xerox machines."
If they stayed in the CIA and made waves, their lives were made unpleasant. Only a handful ever woke up as Ralph did and did something about it, as they took great personal risk to tell the world what was happening. Ralph is around one in 20 thousand. During World War II, there were virtually no German soldiers who spoke out against the Final Solution.
Some CIA employees see the situation exactly as Ralph did and are supremely happy. They are dark path initiates, crave positions of power, and love being on the "winning" side. How many in the CIA’s ranks are like that? Others engage in many sophisticated rationales for their actions and positions. To one degree or another, they have had the opportunity to see what Ralph saw, but prefer to not. They do not want to believe that they are serving darkness, and they engage in many games of denial to protect their consciences. McGehee's CIA associate who was assigned to work with him on censoring his book thought that McGehee should be taken out and shot. He believed that McGehee was a traitor to the noble cause. That man was a prime example of how the masses react to a Ralph. Ralph represented a shattering of the mass illusion, and the herd does not like having its self-serving illusions shattered. The emperor may be stark naked, but few want to hear it. In an earlier time, Ralph may have become a victim of mob violence, nailed to a cross, or come to some other grim end. Many years later, he may have become a posthumous candidate for sainthood, but in America, there are other ways to deal with Ralph. The most effective method is denying him access to the podium. If his voice is a mere whisper next to the trumpet blare of propaganda and he is discredited with lies, few will hear his voice or heed it, and few want to anyway. Everybody wants to believe that they do good deeds, and do not take kindly to being told otherwise. Ralph was actively spied on and subjected to a campaign of intimidation over the years as the CIA tried silencing him, quite illegally. In 2000, the CIA finally succeeded in silencing him. In 2004, John Perkins, after years of soul searching, spoke out from the global empire’s privatized middle management.
That is the point regarding spirituality and how it relates to my work. As the Bible stated, many are called and few are chosen, and the world's fate rests in few hands. It does not have to be that way. The forces of darkness easily manipulate humanity. The relatively few committed light workers are trying to wake us up so that we do not stampede over the nearby cliff. The dark path is not easy to tread. They are continually trying to navigate between enslaving humanity and destroying the planet, which would end their racket. They want alive and terrified slaves, not a destroyed planet, but it is not an easy tightrope to walk.
Mr. Deputy is a dark path acolyte. A psychologist would diagnose him as a psychopath (or sociopath). “Psychopath” and “dark path” are two ways to describe the same condition. He is fairly accomplished, but not in the dark hierarchy's upper echelon. He is a soldier, following orders and making a good living by preying upon others, doing his part to keep humanity in chains, posing as a “public servant.” He may not realize the full implications of his actions, but even if he did, they probably would not affect him, other than feeling good about a job well done. Until people encounter their mentality, that may seem to go too far. Dark path initiates rely on the average person's denial. People do not want to believe that those in positions of power are self-serving, because they have given their power away to them. Therefore, they often go to great lengths to stay in denial about the state of affairs, although the effort that they can expend in battling their cognitive dissonance can reach absurd levels.
There is reason to be optimistic about the future. If enough people make the effort to simply choose the light, not because it will win, but because it is good, a great age of light, love, and healing awaits humanity. The Bible describes the Thousand Years of Peace. Native Americans have called it Paradise Restored. Some call it the New Age, and various cultures have other terms for it, but we are not there quite yet. We also might destroy ourselves. If we do, either through warfare, environmental destruction, or both, we will continue our incarnation cycles, but on another planet. Michael stated that if we do, we will probably choose a life form that cannot manipulate its environment; dolphins and whales are examples of ensouled species that cannot destroy their environment. We probably would have no opposable thumbs in our next attempt to get it. One reaction to that notion is that if we did something like that, we will not have learned our lesson. The truly happy ending would have us finishing our incarnation cycle in a life form that can manipulate its environment, and finally learn the lesson of living in harmony with it. That would be the ideal, but Michael stated that the ideal is rarely attained on the physical plane, and very few wrap up their incarnation cycles by living the life of a Jesus. Our physical lifetimes do not end until we enjoy being here, loving the trip. Then we graduate to other adventures.
Robert Shapiro’s Zoosh said that the path to the New Age, healed planet, etc., is not by destroying the darkness with light, but by honoring the darkness for what it is, appreciating it, and having it take its rightful place in the cosmos. Darkness is largely running the show on Earth, and that was not its intended stature. Unmitigated evil will always destroy itself in the end, when there is nothing left to destroy. Zoosh stated that the ideal mix of light and darkness is about 98% light and 2% darkness, to spur continued growth. Without some "discomfort" on this plane, there would be no incentive to grow. What is happening, according to Zoosh, is a healing and redemption of the darkness so that it will play its intended role. The lessons learned by having darkness in charge have been profound and harrowing for humanity, yet valuable for creation. It is apparently a great sacrifice for every one of us to be here, acting on this stage at this time.
The Michael material covered those topics in depth. Michael stated that a species destroys its home planet by warfare or environmental destruction a third of time, and completes its incarnation cycle on another planet in a different life form. Of that third, one-third is by warfare, and two-thirds is by environmental destruction. Humanity is today at that juncture where we may kill ourselves off. This is the turning point in our evolution. Michael's vast perspective and dispassionate view of an ensouled species destroying its home planet and simply choosing another one to continue its journey can be unnerving. Michael stated that if we destroy this planet (or make its environment hostile to complex life), those who have contributed the most to its destruction (mainly dark path acolytes) will incarnate on this planet as it is dying and experience the consequences of their activities. That is not because God forces them to, but because the nature of our souls and the incarnation cycle is acting in the world and learning by reaping the results of our actions. We reap what we sow. It is a law of creation that applies from top to bottom. Often we sow in one life and reap in a later one.
Michael's perspective can be interpreted as stating that those on the dark path are generally younger souls. Lake's ET perspective stated that plainly. Spiritual teenagers run the world today, seeking "power" over love and even confusing the two. Every soul is divine, and the path of darkness is one of God's gifts. It is a consequence of having "free will," which is something that animals do not have. A rabbit, bear, tree, shark, or dog cannot choose to be "good" or "evil." They are not playing that game.
Another way of describing the coming transition is calling it a dimensional shift, as humanity transitions from the third to fourth dimension, which apparently has never been tried before while staying in a body. Robert Shapiro's Zoosh discussed those concepts and length in the Explorer Race and Shining the Light series. In the fourth dimension, people can read each other's thoughts, so the charade of dark path initiates deceiving others is impossible. Consequently, in the fourth dimension one does not find light and dark path initiates sharing the same planet. They each have their own planets, and imagine a planet where everybody is on the dark path and they all know it.
Those different schools of thought do not contradict each other, and neither do the teachings of masters such as Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed, etc. Michael likened the seeming differences in the various mystical philosophies to studying various systems of the body; Jesus's teachings are like studying the circulatory system, Michael's teachings are like studying the endocrine system, Buddha's teachings are like studying the nervous system, the Ra material is like studying the lymphatic system, Jane Roberts's Seth material is like studying the digestive system, the Alexander material is like studying the skin, Barbara Marciniak's Pleiadian teachings are like studying the sensory systems, Neale Donald Walsch's Conversations with God material is like studying the immune system, Zoosh's Explorer Race material is like studying the skeletal system, and so on. Each is a valid system of study that sees a different facet of reality, and each complements the other.
That is what I think I have learned on my journey so far, and I will surely have a somewhat different perspective in 20 years. Nobody need agree with everything (or anything) presented in this essay, but it gives some insight into the perspective that dominates my writings.
The Human Afterlife
The earliest human writings evidenced ancient belief in the supernatural and in realms of existence beyond the physical plane. The Babylonian epic of Gilgamesh and his otherworldly journeys circulated as oral histories for a millennium before being written in cuneiform on clay tablets. That epic influenced myths ever afterward, including Old Testament tales.
Only with the modern age’s appearance have any peoples ever officially disavowed the idea that anything existed beyond the physical dimension. Such a viewpoint is known as materialism, although such terms as atheism, agnosticism, and “skepticism” have also described philosophies that reject the notion of life after death or any consciousness existing beyond physical reality. America’s Founding Fathers were largely deists; they believed in a creator of sorts, but one that remained aloof from the physical plane and the concerns of humanity. Thomas Jefferson created a Bible that edited out all of Jesus’s “miracles” and ended with his entombment.
Although mysticism never died out, the West was fully in materialism’s grip during the 20th century. A curious phenomenon happened during the later decades of the 20th century; Western emergency medicine advanced to the point where clinically dead people were revived. They reported otherworldly realms remarkably similar to what mystics had described for millennia. The current research on the phenomenon began with Raymond Moody’s Life After Life, which appeared in 1975. Before Moody’s first book was even published, he met a person who had one of the most spectacular near-death experiences ("NDE") yet recorded. Dannion Brinkley was struck by lightning in 1975 and died. While he was dying and dead, he had most aspects of the classic NDE, with the tunnel of light, the being of light, the love that permeates the place he visited, a love immensely more intense than anybody feels on Earth, a life review and visiting realms that no motion picture can do justice to. As with most who return from an NDE, Brinkley wanted no part of coming back to Earth’s vale of tears, but was told that his work here was not finished, so his consciousness came back to his body while it was being taken to the morgue.
One of the few NDE accounts that might top it is Grigorievich Rodonaia’s. He was a Georgian dissident that the KGB assassinated, and his body was taken to a morgue and frozen for three days. When the doctor began cutting into his body for the autopsy, Rodonaia’s eyes opened. They closed his eyes, and they popped back open. At that point, the doctor panicked. Rodonaia was brought back to life and spent nearly the next year in intensive care. He reported visiting realms similar to those described in mystical accounts. As Brinkley was shown many future events that came true (Moody recorded them, and his amazement grew during the subsequent years as the predicted events kept happening), Rodanaia brought back “proof” of his death experience’s validity when he told the hospital staff that he had been able to see into an infant there, and the child’s arm was fractured, which the doctors were unaware of. X-rays proved Rodanaia’s information accurate.
Many pieces of evidence have validated NDEs, as far as human consciousness not being dependent on the human body for existence. The materialistic presumptions of science, as well as the “Pearly Gates” tales of Christianity, have been challenged by the NDE phenomenon, and numerous attempts to challenge the validity of NDEs have come from both mainstream religion and science, as they are the former and current authorities of reality. While creditable efforts demonstrated that NDEs are influenced by the person having them, such as their culture, beliefs in an afterlife, and so forth, no attempt to invalidate them, such as calling them demonic experiences (fundamentalist Christian debunkers) or byproducts of the brain’s chemistry (the “skeptics”) I have found persuasive.
It is nearly impossible to find anybody who has had an NDE and has been convinced that “they just imagined it,” or it was a byproduct of lack of oxygen to the brain. The post-NDE transformations of people’s lives are nearly as spectacular as the NDEs themselves. Brinkley's life is a case in point. He was in about 6,000 fistfights while growing up, and was a triggerman for an American assassination squad in Southeast Asia while the USA was killing millions of people. After his “lightning therapy,” Brinkley developed startling psychic abilities. Although his soldier background is evident in his perspective (he is a right-wing Southern boy who was a Marine), he also renounced violence and realized that life was about love. Nearly all NDE survivors have radical changes in their life’s priorities, as they seek the spiritual and abandon materialism. That radical change in outlook has led to many divorces, as materialistic spouses cannot handle the change. Whereas having the nicest house or the newest car on the block may have once been the goal of the pre-NDE-person, the post-NDE-person wants to help others and enjoy every breath, and none of them have any fear of death, as far as it meaning oblivion. They know they are on Earth for a reason, and know that when their time comes, they will leave earthly life, and happily.
The life review portion of an NDE can be astounding. When Brinkley had his NDE, he not only reviewed every moment of his life, but also what everybody felt as they interacted with him. When he relived his 6,000 fistfights and his murders, he also saw them through the eyes of those he fought and murdered, feeling what they felt. That was the worst part of his NDE, and makes the Golden Rule easier to understand, and the concept of sowing and reaping. It was sickening to feel the emotional pain people felt as he beat them up or murdered them. The worst feeling of all was when he beat people up for the sheer fun of it. He was able to see the “ripple effect” of his actions. When he was an arms dealer to the USA’s Latin American puppets, he got to see and feel the effects of the weapons he sold, such as feeling what a little boy felt when his father was murdered with a weapon that Brinkley sold. After his agonizing life review, he expected some kind of rebuke or punishment from the being of light with him, and instead received love and joy, with an enigmatic reply:
“Who you are is the difference that God makes…and that difference is love.”
Just before being sent back to his body, with his new mission in life of helping raise human consciousness, Brinkley’s guide told him:
“Humans are mighty spiritual beings. All they need to realize is that love is treating others the way they themselves want to be treated.”
When he was dead, Brinkley was shown a device he was supposed to build upon return to earthly life: a bed that helps people have out-of-body experiences and across-the-veil experiences with “dead” people. The Monroe Institute does something similar. One of the most validating parts about the NDE and out-of-body phenomenon is that Brinkley, The Monroe Institute, Bruce Moen, and others is that they do not ask anybody to believe anything they say, but they assist others in having experiences of those states for themselves, and they can make up their own minds. It has nothing to do with faith, especially the blind kind. Today there is even a TV show, Crossing Over, in which John Edward brings messages from the other side to people in the studio audience. Every show, Edward has “hits” of the Isaac Brown variety. The “skeptics” who try explaining it away as a “cold reading” or other trick carry zero weight with people who have experienced John giving them messages from their departed loved ones. As with all efforts such as Edward’s, the goal is teaching others to do it for themselves. Nobody need rely on the “experts;” anybody can seek and have those experiences for themselves, but it requires self-discipline.
The many testimonies of people who have had NDEs strongly correlates with what mystics and channels have been saying for a long time. The term “afterlife” is something of a misnomer; time does not exist in linear fashion beyond the physical plane (which those of us on the physical plane cannot conceive of very well, if at all), so nothing can really be “after” anything else at those levels of reality. The trappings of conventional heavens and hells are rarely reported. The beliefs of the experiencer help create their immediate afterlife experiences. Whereas ancient Greeks crossed the River Styx after they died, some modern Christians were greeted at the Pearly Gates and given the standard-issue harp, which they began strumming. Those with rigid beliefs about what awaits them can become mired in those expectations. Hard-core religious fanatics and hard-core materialists can be stuck there for a long “time.” Hard-core materialists can spend centuries in a kind of catatonic state, constantly repeating to themselves that they do not exist. Eventually they realize that something is saying “I do not exist,” and they begin waking up to life in the other side.
Robert Monroe called the out-of-body realms he visited “Focus Levels,” and every being is focused on the level appropriate to their awareness. In Monroe’s terminology, Focus 1 is physical reality and Focus 10 is like a waking dream. Focus 23 is where some beings go after physical death, where they either do not realize they are dead or are unable to free themselves from the attractions of earthly experience. What people call ghosts are usually beings caught in Focus 23 and is related to the Christian concept of purgatory. Focuses 24 to 26 are where most people on Earth today quickly end up after they pass over. They are also called “belief system territories.” In Focuses 24 to 26, Romans hang out in Elysium, harp-strumming Christian heavens exist, and every otherworldly realm that any human group has ever postulated. They are real, in that people experience them as real, just as we experience physical reality as real. They are way stations, however, which people are attracted to based on their beliefs and spiritual development. Nobody is sent anywhere; people go where they are drawn to. If a small town’s citizenry all attended the same church and believed that a particular kind of afterlife environment awaited them, they will go there and live after their physical deaths until they are ready to move on to their larger lives. Physical existence is extremely traumatizing, and among those “many mansions” are places for souls to recover from earthly experience.
The harp-playing heaven is not all that heavenly, and after plucking those strings for what can seem a long, long time, souls begin wondering if harp playing is all there is to heaven. When they begin wondering if there is something more, helpers are always nearby (angels and other friends) to help them discover what that might be. Focus 27 is where beings begin integrating, healing, and putting their earthly experiences behind them.
Focuses 24 to 26 also contain what can be called hells. Once again, nobody sends anybody anywhere, especially against their wishes. Those who live in the various hells are there because they are attracted to them. Bruce Moen was one of Monroe’s pupils, and he once visited a “hell” in Focus 25, where emotional sadists lived who played evil tricks on each other. The major difference between such a hell and Earth is that there is a vast spectrum of spiritual attainment of people living on Earth. Some are on loan from heaven, more are on leave from hell, and most today just try getting through life without hurting anybody too much, or helping anybody too much, either. So, people on Earth interact with a wide spectrum of souls. The emotional sadist that Moen visited, named Max, played his games on unsuspecting people during his Earth days, but in Focus 25, Max’s world was completely populated with emotional sadists like him. On Earth, Max was a big fish in a little pond. In Focus 25, Max was near the middle of the food chain and bore the brunt of emotional sadism as often as he inflicted it. In that hell, they all lived to inflict emotional pain on others, but the only victims that they had to prey upon were each other. If there ever was a fitting hell for Max, he was in it. He is going to stay there as long as he wants to play the emotional sadist game. There are also thief hells, soldier hells, murderer hells, rapist hells, and so on. Some try out each hell in succession, an experience called “hell-riding.” The only way out of those hells is through love: being able to both accept it and give it.
Some are so attracted to their hell that they become masters of it and are the “king of hell.” They are so clever that nobody can beat them at their game, as they always get the upper hand. All souls are part of a larger entity, as with the mid-causal entities Seth and Michael. Those in hell are stuck, with arrested development. All entities evolve, and when a group of a thousand souls is ready to travel to the causal plane, and one of its souls became the king of its hell, the thousand souls will “move heaven and Earth” to try getting that soul to leave its hell and rejoin the others. If the soul cannot be persuaded to leave, the other souls will move on. Little did the “king of hell” realize that those other souls were part of his or her larger self, and when the other souls leave the astral plane for the causal, much of the “substance” that helped sustain the “king of hell” also leaves, and the king of hell cannot “hold it together,” and his or her personality eventually disintegrates, and the “king of hell” eventually becomes little more than a fly, buzzing around in that hell’s energy.
Cult members can live together in the Belief System Territories for a long time. Their heaven, however, can be a hollow one, like that harpist heaven. When they finally decide they have had enough of the Belief System Territories, they move on to Focus 27. Each teaching, such as Monroe’s, has particular terminology, and can be seen to correspond to concepts in other teachings. In the Richard Material, what Monroe calls the Belief System Territories and Focus 27 (also called the Reception Center, or the Park), Richard calls the Place of Self-Deception (like a Hollow Heaven), the Lower Regions (like Max’s Hell), and the Place of Preparation. It is the realities that are important, not the terminology. Robert Siblerud’s The Science of the Soul covers that territory and far more, describing the various planes of existence, at least those somewhat knowable by earthly souls. It is not a matter of belief and dogma, but realms that sincere seekers can explore for themselves, but usually only older souls have much interest or talent for such undertakings, as they are on the inward journey, not the outward one that younger souls are on.
There are also heavenly realms that far exceed in love and grandeur anything that can be written about or even imagined while on Earth. The Michael teachings describe planes he is familiar with, and earthly souls can somewhat comprehend the astral plane, but not really the higher ones. Michael is a mid-causal entity, and readily admits that the next plane of his evolution, the Akashic plane, is as much a mystery to him as the astral plane is to us.
High-quality accounts of the other side of death, by people who recently passed over. Ken Akehurst’s Everyone's Guide to the Hereafter and Helen Greaves’s Testimony of Light are excellent accounts of the initial afterlife experience. Akehurst was an average everyday English workingman, and he reported from the Belief Systems Territories. Life was “good” there, immensely more enjoyable than physical existence, but Akehurst also advised earthlings to give up their addictive behaviors before they died, because they would simply bring them along to the other side, but with no way to satisfy them. Robert Monroe and others have described beings that died with physical addictions. They often become “trapped” in Focus 23, alcoholics hanging around earthly bars to possess a passed-out drunkard, to get the brief thrill of being inebriated. All physical addictions can lead to agony on the other side, where the addiction cannot be sated, which can lead to hanging around those who are still physical, to get a vicarious “sniff” of their addiction. Greaves channeled the experiences of a Catholic nun that she knew in life, and the woman began dictating to Greaves mere weeks after she had passed over. The nun was in the Belief Systems Territories to begin with, but rapidly passed on to Focus 27, where she met her soul. Greaves described the dramatic change in the nun’s appearance and demeanor after she met her soul.
Virtually every existing account of the other side and channeled teaching accepts reincarnation as a fact. The only exceptions are people who have only had an NDE, where they are merely on the threshold of the other side (Bettie Eadie’s Embraced by the Light is one of those accounts), or only in the Belief Systems Territories, as Akehurst was. Akehurst was not yet to the point of reuniting with his soul (it does not happen in the Belief Systems Territories, but further along the path), and asked about reincarnation, but was left to figure it out on his own. Greaves wrote another book titled The Wheel of Eternity, which described her experiences with a woman who was a ghost in her home, trapped in Focus 23. Greaves participated in helping that ghost realize where she was and why, and helped her move on. Greaves also helped an English aristocrat who went straight to “hell” upon leaving earthly life, but was granted “shore leave” to come to Greaves’s home, where she also eventually was able to accept love, leave her hell, and move on.
After exploring the literature on crossing to the other side and what awaits us, and leavening it with my experiences, one issue is clear: bribing people with heaven or threatening them with hell are counterproductive. We go to whatever we are attracted to, and how we live our lives on Earth determines where we go on the other side. What we think is important while we are here, but more important is what we say, and what we do is the most important, and the motivation behind our actions is all-important. Religious fanatics often have the most difficult time on the other side; their beliefs are conditioned by fear, not love. Rigid beliefs are the greatest obstacles to enlightenment, and all belief-fanatics are advised to give them up if they want a pleasant transition to their heaven. Living by Jesus’s Golden Rule - treating others how we would wish to be treated - is the best prescription for raising one’s awareness and having a joyous transition to the other side. Love is the only answer.
I want to paint the big picture, as far as can I glimpse it from my limited physical perspective. So, here I will tell a tale. I will reference parts of it, but that is only for the reader’s reference. The following tale is not necessarily the “right” one. Richard Bach’s Donald Shimoda said he did not know if his view of creation was “true,” but he believed it because it was fun to believe it. I cannot “prove” this tale to anybody, and it is partly mine. Nobody needs to believe it, even me. This could all be wrong. We are not our beliefs, and believing that we are can get us into trouble. Some think that the only valid story is no story at all, but even that is a story. People need to gain their own experiences, so they have their own stories, not somebody else’s. However, I always respect the journeys of psychonauts and what they experienced and learned, and for the best ones, the lessons are always about love.
The question I ponder the most these days is “why?” Why are we here? What game are we playing? Why this universe? It is the unfathomable question. All the same, many sources hint at it, although I wonder if they really know, either.
Virtually every mystical source agrees that beyond the physical plane, time and space largely do not exist. They are artificial constructs used to create this dimension, which is ultimately illusory. There is also plenty of firsthand human testimony regarding that phenomenon. People who clinically die and are revived report reviewing their entire lives, in greater detail than is seemingly possible, in mere instants of Earth time. The further that physical beings “progress” on “the other side,” the less their existence has time-like and space-like attributes, to eventually be abandoned, much as a child bicyclist eventually abandons training wheels. With that limitation acknowledged, I will write in time and space terms, as I live in a dimension where it defines our existence.
In the beginning, the Creator gave birth to an immense number of beings, somewhere on the order of the number of stars in the observable universe (200 billion multiplied by one trillion), and perhaps a truly infinite number. They were the Creator’s playmates, in a sense fashioned from the Creator’s rib. There was no physical reality as we know it. All beings had free will, and creation was one big celebration, and everyone laughed and played. All were equal to the Creator, as everybody was made from the same “stuff.” One day, a being played a game of creating a hierarchy, and said to his pals:
“Give your will to me. Free will can be burdensome, and I have a special ability to handle it. If you give your will to me, I will take care of it, making your decisions for you, and making your existence easier.”
Some say that the being made his pitch at the Creator’s request. Others say that the being was an outside agent, seeming to come from outside creation. That being’s sales pitch was well done, but about 99% of the Creator’s playmates replied with something like:
“Thank you for your offer, but I think that my will is something I am supposed to manage by myself. Yes, some decisions seem difficult, but if I do not make them, I think I will diminish myself (and hence creation) in some way. Your offer is generous and noble, but I think that I am better off making my own decisions.”
After eons of recruiting effort, that being welcomed about 1% of the creator’s playmates to his new program. The new recruits gave their free will to that being. A hierarchy was created, and that being managed the free will of that 1%, and other beings helped him. It developed into a hierarchy, with that recruiter at the top, the helping levels below him, and those giving away their free will at the bottom. Eventually, those at the bottom gave away virtually all of their free will to the hierarchy. Free will was an essential component of the Creator, and when those beings gave away their free will, they also lost other given attributes, particularly their awareness. In Judeo-Christian circles, that loss of awareness is known as “The Fall.” That being who invented and recruited others to his hierarchy is known as Lucifer in those circles, and that time of carefree play is known as the Garden of Eden. The tale has been greatly distorted in Genesis, with women being blamed for The Fall, the sin was seeking knowledge, the Garden of Eden was in today’s Middle East, and that tempter was in the form of a snake, as the serpent was the symbol of women thousands of years ago.
The Fall took a long time. As everybody has free will, the Creator could not infringe upon what transpired, even if his playmates gave their will away. Even though he cautioned that 1%, he had to watch them abdicate their will and gradually lose their awareness. They devolved to a state that had not been seen before. Whether Lucifer did it at the Creator’s bidding or not does not alter today’s situation. If Lucifer did the Creator’s bidding, however, I am not currently happy about it, because I am a member of that fallen 1%. Was it a test that God invented? Did we ask to take the test? Did we think we could become creators, and God replied, “So, you think you want to be a creator? I have a little test, to determine if you are ready.” If it happened somewhat like that, at this time I question my wisdom. Life on Earth is not my idea of a good time, having lost awareness and a seeming lack of free will, not continually bathing in the love that is a natural part of the “other side” and being at the mercy of forces seemingly beyond my control.
What to do about the fallen 1%? No being can fall so far that all awareness and memory is lost. As awareness was lost, those beings also fragmented into a hierarchy of awareness that resembled Lucifer’s. The aspect of those beings that remembered their Garden of Eden days preferred their former awareness to what happened after they gave away their free will. They realized their mistake, and the creator (with the other 99% assisting) invented a system to allow them to regain their awareness and reclaim their will. A remedial school was developed for lost beings to regain their awareness. No being embarked on the journey that did not desire to regain its awareness.
The densest, lowest, most elementary part of the course was invented. It is known as physical reality, where I live. In the fragmentation of awareness, “lesser” beings were created. Paradoxically, creation is one being. There is truly no separation from the Creator, yet we all have our individuality. In this dualistic plane of existence, all explanations of the big picture contain paradoxes. Every being is part of the whole, and the whole cannot be whole without each part present. Every atom is a necessary and infinitely valuable aspect of creation. That is the unfathomable aspect of creation that no earthly source has ever dealt with to mortal satisfaction. Earthly brains are not equipped to comprehend infinity and dimensions where time and space do not exist. That is part of the frustration of being here, having extremely limited awareness while inhabiting the physical realm. While the physical realm is the densest and cruelest of dimensions, it is also where the most growth happens, and lessons are learned here that cannot be acquired anywhere else.
Humans are considered sentient, or at least partly so. Sentience is quite a ways along the developmental path. Sentient beings begin their physical reality journey as less aware forms. Today’s human beings began their physical reality journey spending time as parts of stars, interstellar dust, and other things before focusing on Earth. As we focused on Earth, our early experiences were involved with being parts of the atmosphere, even as clouds. Our awareness eventually became earthbound, and we spent eons as parts of Earth, parts of oceans, mountain ranges, and deep within Earth’s core. As we became familiar with physical reality, we eventually became life forms, and the simpler, unicellular organisms to begin with. Our awareness became ever more fragmented with that process, but it was also a way of creating a “concrete” foundation for us to begin rebuilding our former awareness.
This story will seem similar to the theory of evolution. The scientists have an accurate view of the process, to a limited degree, but they also largely have it backwards. Our current consciousness is not a byproduct of chemical and evolutionary processes, but is the driving force behind them. There is an interaction, however, similar to Marx’s dialectical materialism, but not materialistic. Materialism largely ignores consciousness and attributes it to a phantom of chemistry, but consciousness is the engine of the entire process. Life is not an accident, but the purpose of physical reality. Everything in the universe is alive in some way, as it is all a manifestation of consciousness. Physical reality is a place of interaction of more evolved consciousness with less evolved, and the less evolved seem to be rocks, trees, and other “unaware” entities. Each has its own awareness, perhaps less sentient than human consciousness, but no less divine and necessary for creation.
Seth said that there is no division of the self, which is another way of saying that creation is one. Nevertheless, each particle of creation has its individual integrity, and every atom has its divine awareness. Seth says that the bedrock of our reality, its most elementary component, is a unit of consciousness, which is far, far smaller than an atom or any subatomic particle yet identified.
In the fragmentation of awareness of which physical reality represents the lowest level, many levels of awareness, wholeness, and fragmentation exist. An electron in a squirrel’s toe has an awareness of itself, its role in the oxygen atom it is part of, its role in the water molecule it belongs to, the cell it helps comprise, the muscle it is part of, the squirrel it is part of, the squirrel species it is part of, the planet it is part of, the solar system it is part of, the galaxy it is part of, and the universe it is part of. They all build upon each other, all part of the whole, similar to an onion’s skin.
The package of consciousness that concerns humans is commonly called the soul, which manages the growth of awareness through the physical plane for sentient beings. Every human being is part of a soul, or as it is stated more commonly, each human has a soul. Michael calls human beings fragments. According to Michael’s view of creation, an earthbound human is generally one of more than one hundred lives that a soul experiences on the physical plane. In the grand plan of regaining fallen awareness, souls help integrate the growing awareness. Michael’s conception of a soul is probably not the same thing as those who gave away their free will to begin The Fall, but it could be considered close. The entity that Paddy McMahon dealt with seems to equate the two. Virtually every piece of mystical material admits that reincarnation is a fact. The mystical branches of the Judeo-Christian religions, specifically the Rosicrucians, Sufis, and Cabbalists (the mystical branches of Christianity, Islam and Judaism) all taught reincarnation as a fact, while their orthodox counterparts denied it. On the other side of the veil, the closer a personality is to earthly life, the less it is aware of its soul, or other Earth lives its soul has lived. Although the heavily edited New Testament removed more than half of Jesus’s life, and probably many references to reincarnation, Jesus’s statement that John the Baptist was Elijah returned to human form has survived.
The plan to regain awareness is a vast one that no earthly awareness can fully comprehend. Even the exalted awareness that Jesus and Buddha manifested can only hint at the big picture. Physical reality is where awareness grows at its most elementary level. The lessons learned at the physical reality level are essential for the progressing levels of awareness, similar to a three-year-old’s lessons of caring for himself being essential lessons that see him through his earthly life.
Everything on the physical plane has correspondence to “higher” planes. The most beautiful tree on Earth is a drab reflection of how it appears in higher planes. The most profound and intense love that we ever feel for our loved ones barely hints at the magnitude of love that permeates the higher planes, and it is as available as the air we breathe. The physical plane is the most rudimentary manifestation of the higher planes’ principles. Numerology studies the mystical significance of numbers. Numbers are not only for scientists and accountants, but a reflection of the higher planes, and today’s mathematics is merely one of many ways to deal with numbers. There are perhaps an infinite number of valid mathematics systems, and we could glimpse many that would have little or no meaning to our minds. Nevertheless, there are many significances to numbers that go well beyond what scientists think of them, with one, two, three, four and five having a great deal of mystical significance. If there was a “divine” number, however, it might be seven. There are many systems of thought in which the number seven has special significance (seven chakras, seven deadly sins, sacred seven prayers, seven days of the week, seven colors of the rainbow, etc.). The Michael teachings are oriented around the number seven, and can be useful in helping understand the soul’s journey through the physical plane.
The Michael teachings define the soul as an entity that inhabits the astral plane. The astral plane is the one just “above” the physical plane. The soul that Michael describes “gives birth” to about 120 personalities that inhabit the physical plane. Some souls live only one earthly life, others live thousands, and some never do. It is up to the soul. Again, there is not time as it is thought of past the physical plane, and the soul’s 120 personalities all exist at once as far as the soul is concerned, similar to leaves on a tree. However, the physical plane has been set up with linear time, so part of the soul’s awareness experiences those lifetimes in linear sequence, and each experience builds on the other, as the soul’s awareness “grows” through the physical plane. The soul grows in awareness with each physical life lived. The astral plane is where souls rest, learn, and plan between lives. When people have NDEs, out-of-body experiences, or visions of heaven, they are generally describing the astral plane. In a paradoxical fashion that earthly brains cannot fully comprehend, souls “invest” themselves in each earthly personality that they give birth to. The soul experiences each physical lifetime and learns the lessons it provides, although the earthly personality has little or no conscious awareness of the soul that gave it birth. On one hand, that does not seem very fair. On the other, the “on its own” aspect of the earthly personality allows it to develop in its own right. When the earthly personality leaves physical reality, it comes back to the astral plane and is eventually reunited with the soul, but it might take quite some “time.”
Just as every atom has its own awareness and “soul,” so does each human being. The human soul is no “better” than the atom’s “soul,” as all are ultimately made of the Creator, and are the Creator. Even so, the human soul is much “larger” and more complicated and evolved than the atom’s soul, just as the soul is a more evolved and complicated entity than an earthly personality. That does not detract from the integrity of each atom or human personality, however.
Each soul eventually becomes part of a larger entity on the plane “above” the astral plane, called the causal plane. Michael claims to be an entity composed of more than 1,000 souls. With each soul living more than 100 lives, the Michael entity draws upon the experience of more than 100,000 human lifetimes to inform his perspective. The further the entity integrates on its way back to the godhead and full awareness, the less “personality” it possesses, so Michael has a clinical detachment and dry sense of humor, mostly confined to puns. Michael hails from the middle of the causal plane, and is thus called a mid-causal entity. Seth has also been called a mid-causal entity. Seth evidences far more personality than Michael does, perhaps partly because Jane Roberts is part of the Seth entity, as he is her “big brother.” Many people channel the Michael entity, but each interacts with a slightly different facet. One person may channel a facet composed of 50 souls of Michael’s 1050, while another person channels a “subgroup” of 40 others. It, combined with different channels, gives the Michael material a slightly different flavor, depending on who channels it.
The Michael teachings correspond to many others, such as Gurdjieff’s, the Indian caste system, and others (the caste system being a badly distorted corruption of valid perspectives, as all systems in a world of scarcity tend to become). When souls begin the long journey, they choose a “role,” which is a common theme in mystical material. Seth discussed “speakers” as one of the permanent roles that some souls choose, while Alexander describes a system quite similar to Michael’s. In Michael’s view, a soul will choose one of seven roles: artisan, server, warrior, scholar, sage, priest, and king. Each has its own orientation and awareness, and each soul will always have its initially-chosen role. Each role has its strengths and vulnerabilities. Each role progresses through its ages and its awareness expands as it “grows” older. Michael teaches that there are seven soul awarenesses, or “ages,” with seven levels within each “age.” On the astral plane, the soul is aware of all of its physical lives, but as the physical plane journey progresses with its linear time, each personality is somewhat aware of its “earlier” lives, and builds upon that awareness with each succeeding life.
The “grand plan” to regain awareness has been designed so that no soul can “backslide” all that far. We cannot really “fail.” That is apparently part of the Creator’s compassion. No soul can become so lost that it cannot get back home. We have free will, but it is constrained by some fairly narrow parameters on the physical plane: we cannot remember our nightly trips back to the astral plane, we generally cannot recall our past lives, we must eat to sustain our bodies, gravity makes us earthbound, the love energy that comprises the very atmosphere on the higher planes is not obvious here, we feel pain, and must die one day.
Mystical students often read about how wonderful an opportunity earthly life is, but discarnate entities say it. It is easy to wax rhapsodic about earthly existence when one does not live here. Although third grade was a valuable experience, I do not want to experience it again. It is difficult to imagine a sane being choosing the existence found on today’s Earth. Earth is a vale of tears, and has largely been so for a long time. I hope that we somehow earned this difficult existence. The sources I respect the most say that physical reality, especially life on Earth these days, is not an easy experience. I consider Donald Walsch’s Conversations with God material valid, although Walsch’s God can seem a somewhat flippant Pollyanna at times (and other problems), but Walsch’s God admits that our best day on Earth is the day that we die and leave behind this dense existence. The general mystical consensus is that being born is the hard part of being here, and dying is the easy part. If earthly life was the best that the Creator could come up with when he decided to do a little creating, then we all could make many suggestions. Whatever delights may wait on the veil’s other side do little to mitigate the cruelty of this existence, not while we are here. The standard mystical tale, however, is that we all chose to be here, and only the bravest of the fallen are on Earth right now. This is the cutting edge in many ways, apparently. For humans, Earth is a school, not a home, and there is nothing “wrong” with trying to make the school cleaner and prettier (or making sure we do not burn it down), the curriculum less painful, and the classes more fun.
There are no human souls, just as there are no cat souls. There are souls that express themselves as humans, and souls that express themselves as cats. Animals are not ensouled as humans are. While it is usually one soul for each human, it is more like one soul for a flock of geese. Also, that “soul” is not playing the same game as a soul playing the human game. Humans exercise free will in a way that animals do not. A goose cannot decide to be “evil,” although there are some mean geese out there. Domestic animals are usually bridging the transition between sentient and non-sentient animals. Domestic animals are around humans partly to investigate what being ensouled is like. Our pets observe us for more reasons than we might think. If they find the ensouled state attractive enough, they may begin incarnating on the ensouled cycle.
Each of Michael’s roles has its positive and negative pole. The pole operated from depends on if the personality is operating from love or the lack of it (fear). We can choose love or fear here in physical reality (the freewill deal), and fear is a normal condition, largely based on feelings of not being in control of what happens to our bodies. Love is the energy of creation. God creates with love. It can even be said that God is love. In physical reality, love is not as readily available as it is on the other side, where feeling love is as natural as breathing. The feeling of separation from God’s love is perhaps the cruelest aspect of physical reality.
Once the cruelty of not remembering to ask to come here and having a difficult time feeling the hidden love that sustains this universe is accepted, the rest is not difficult to imagine or comprehend. The discarnate entities say it is in our best interests to not remember our larger lives, but they also do not live here. Our goal here is choosing and feeling love. As souls “age,” each level has unique lessons to learn, and souls adopt “overleaves” for their physical personalities. In more than 100 lifetimes, each overleaf is explored. Each overleaf also has its positive and negative aspect. The overleaves are: goals, modes, attitudes, and a “chief feature,” which is how fear predominantly accesses the personality. At the footnote ending this sentence is a highly abbreviated rendition of the Michael teachings.
On Earth, the “Young Soul” stage of the cycle has dominated human awareness for the past two millennia. Young Souls are great at building civilizations and destroying planets. Winning is everything to the Young Soul. Killing and being killed has been a predominant theme for probably the entire human journey. Humanity is at the brink of self-extinction, as it has focused its awareness outwardly as far as it can. The inward journey that the Mature Soul awareness initiates is humanity’s next step. It is the most dramatic transition that any ensouled species makes. Mature Souls began outnumbering Young Souls on Earth in the late 20th century (becoming 34% versus 33% of the world’s human population), and the transition is underway to begin exploring emotional and inner realities. Whether the transition will be completed before humanity exterminates itself has yet to be determined. The human race will probably make it, but billions of people may not survive the transition. Those who still prefer playing the kill-and-be-killed game may soon find themselves on another planet to continue their game, as Earth will not allow herself to be destroyed. Although the kill-and-be-killed game provides valuable lessons, no planet can host that game indefinitely. The gentle will inherit the earth, and Earth will eventually ascend to higher planes and leave this one behind, just as humans do.
In earlier lives, with the focus outward, humans typically incur a huge burden of negative karma. They spend their later lives paying it back. Those early lives are when people can more readily walk the “dark spiritual path” and make self-service a science.
It is easy to see how limited human awareness has been, even during our history. For one instance of many, the Catholic Church’s dogma had Earth being the universe’s center. Today’s dogma from many corners is that humanity is alone in the universe. Hundreds of years ago the West rediscovered what Pythagoras knew: Earth orbits the Sun. As science rose, the Sun became understood as just another star in the sky, which our planet orbited. Eventually the Milky Way became seen as a cloud of stars, and not that long ago the concept of a galaxy was developed. Eventually the Sun became seen as merely one of about 200 billion stars in our galaxy. As our scientists kept looking outward, other galaxies were seen, and seen, and seen. Today, it is accepted that there are perhaps one trillion galaxies in the observable universe. Now that is a universe created by a big “C” Creator. What if the universe is 100 billion times larger than we think it is? What if it is truly infinite?
Seth and Michael state that humanity has barely scratched the surface of the physical universe’s vastness and strangeness. Seth says that science has erred in estimating Earth’s age by a few orders of magnitude, and that the earth is actually trillions of years old and has not always resided in our solar system. The scientist in me is skeptical of statements such as those, but I would like to find out the truth of such statements one day. Michael says that humanity is merely one of one million ensouled species in our galaxy, and pondering one trillion galaxies gives a tiny glimpse of the potential diversity of our physical universe. To glimpse that diversity, we share this planet with another ensouled “species”: cetaceans (dolphins and whales). They chose bodies that cannot manipulate their environments. There are many first-person accounts of whale and dolphin sentience. Cetaceans play the game differently than humans do. A pod of twelve dolphins will have twelve souls, but the souls share the bodies, swapping them, which is one reason that they do not fear death as humans do. Whales apparently think holographically, which is nearly impossible for us linear thinkers to comprehend. As Europeans conquered the world and exterminated humans across the planet, they also drove whales to near-extinction. Many dolphins and whales are only beginning to suspect that human beings are sentient, as they did not think that a sentient species was capable of the genocide that their kind experienced at human hands.
In the universe there are sentient clouds, mountains, trees, birds, and life forms that humans can barely imagine. Humans are a sentient form of ape. Channeled material regularly describes how humanoid sentient species are the predominant ones in our little corner of the galaxy, as they all hail from the same rootstock, with the inhabited planets being “colonized” in a sense. The human race may have had plenty of help from our galactic cousins, genetically and otherwise.
Channeled entities often throw out statements that blow away the participants, and the listeners shake their heads in dismay or awe. Once somebody asked Michael if the Big Bang and the scientific establishment’s notion of an expanding and contracting universe, to lead to another Big Bang in billions of years, was correct. Michael replied that there is some truth in that notion, but the universe had done it more times than there are atoms in our universe. Seth said that our universe is not expanding in the way that our scientists think. Whatever the “right” answer may be, our earthly minds, with their puny conceptions, are poorly equipped to grapple with such ideas. Throw in infinite parallel and probable existences (and physical dimensions where time and space are more “fluid”), and no earthly mind fails to “blow a fuse” when trying to comprehend those concepts.
The Michael material is only one of many worthy teachings. What is coming up for humanity is healing the “heart-mind split.” It is also called the Second Coming, the New Age, Paradise Restored, etc. Love will reign, not fear, but we must choose it. It will not fall into our laps.
It is also possible that there is something very big afoot on Earth. There might be a lot more about to happen than merely an ensouled species turning the corner and beginning its inward journey after a long time of focusing outward. Michael stated that the human species is more sexually polarized than 95% of ensouled species (again, we need only look at cetaceans to get an idea of less polarized species). Kryon, Zoosh, Barbara Marciniak’s Pleiadians and others say that the human race is a special experiment, and its outcome could change the way that our universe functions. That can seem grandiose and egocentric, but it may also be true. If true, it has everything to do with love. I once asked Hinono a few questions. He said, “The Creator is coming,” with a “big love” that nobody here has quite experienced yet.
Michael claims no ultimate awareness, nor does Seth or any other reputable channeled entity (except perhaps Walsch’s God). Jane Roberts would periodically channel Seth Two, which Seth called his “big brother.” Seth Two was obviously unused to using a human body, and said that his joy created universes, and that it was challenging for him to relate to human awareness and emotion.
All of those ideas are worthy to ponder, but our reality is that we must eat to survive here, and growing our awareness while caring for our bodies is our earthly task, and it keeps our hands full. If people truly begin caring for each other, then humanity might have a gentle transition to a healed humanity and planet. Much is possible, but not when most Americans (and those in other nations) predominantly operate from their personalities’ negative pole while calling it its positive pole. Humanity’s primal nature is love, and Jesus and other masters came to remind us of that fact.
In the final analysis, it is our reality, our world, our everlasting lives. What will we do with them?
 See Peter Collier and David Horowitz’s The Rockefellers, pp. 18, 19, 33.
 I saw those words in my school district’s "cumulative file" after I graduated from high school. My sixth grade teacher's comments stared out at me. I believe it was sincere, but also was influenced by two factors. I was a bit of a discipline problem in those years. Another factor was that I was more intelligent than my teacher and sometimes better informed. I was a normal child in most ways, but one day my teacher showed the class the Eastern and Western hemispheres on a globe. The only problem was that he was pointing out the Northern and Southern hemispheres. I raised my hand and said that I doubted that he explained the hemispheres accurately. To his credit, he asked me to show the class how I thought the hemispheres were oriented on the globe. I did. It retrospect, that was quite a spectacle, to have a student challenge a teacher's presentation because it was inaccurate, and the teacher allow the correction. I had never seen it done before, and have never seen it since. When I finished showing the class how the hemispheres really lined up, my teacher said that he would perform some research that evening. The next day, he announced that my explanation was correct. It took a big man to admit that his 11-year-old student had corrected him. Yet, I believe that the event, along with my admittedly unruly demeanor, had something to do with my teacher's writings in my cumulative file. I do not feel that my parents pushed me too hard, although it could have appeared that way. They conscientiously undertook the task of raising a well-behaved, helpful, and obedient child whose IQ was in the genius range, and I was blessed with experiences that many children my age did not have, and I cannot fault my parents for it.
 Brian described that event in the foreword to his book The Second Coming of Science, and Brian credited that event with propelling him into frontiers of science.
 A close friend was a Silva instructor for many years, and in the 1990s he told me that in the unfortunate situation in today's hurried society, the Silva class had been truncated to 20 hours, a "Silva-lite" to those of us who took it the old way. In 2014, that seems to be the only version, and when Josй died, the effort fragmented into family members tearing the organization apart, and the Silva course is a shadow of its former self, I am sorry to say, and I am not sure that I can recommend it anymore.
 For an example of that mentality, see Werner Heisenberg's "Truth Dwells in the Deeps" in Ken Wilbur's Quantum Questions, pp. 33-38. Heisenberg related a conversation that he, Bohr, and Wolfgang Pauli had. Those men were decidedly mystical in their orientation, as were nearly all the greatest physicists of the 20th century.
 See Brian O’Leary’s The Second Coming of Science, pp. 49-51, and the image of the moldy and non-moldy juice is Figure 15 of the book’s photo section.
 For Genghis Kahn and Rasputin, see The Ra Material, p. 118. For Himmler and Goering, see The Law of One, Book II, p. 60. Elkins, Rueckert, McCarty are the authors.
 In the opinion of entities such as Zoosh, as channeled by Robert Shapiro.
 That is my interpretation, not endorsed by anybody else.
 See Gina Lake’s The Extraterrestrial Vision, pp. 19-20.
 See Michael Roads’s, Into a Timeless Realm, pp. 190-211.
 See Val Valerian’s Matrix III, pp. 488-538.
 See Val Valerian’s Matrix III, pp. 0002-0003. His table does not add up to 100% (it adds to 110%), but gives very general numbers.
 See Don Elkins, Carla Rueckert, and Jim McCarty’s The Law of One, Book II, pp. 60-61.
 See John Stockwell’s, In Search of Enemies, p. 56.
 See Carol Zaleski’s Otherworld Journeys, pp. 14-16.
 See Dannion Brinkley’s Saved by the Light. Brinkley’s accounts have been challenged by many over the years, and even by Raymond Moody in one of his books. No challenge to Brinkley’s credentials and experiences has proved convincing to me. For instance, I have known a number of covert action operatives, and the challenges to Brinkley’s Vietnam credentials are so weak as to be laughable. There will not be a publicly-available paper trail for Brinkley’s or Ward Churchill’s activities in Vietnam, and while people can pretend to be covert operatives, “Stolen Valor” efforts are going to be greatly hampered and even largely invalid because of it. Those kinds of covert operations were largely privatized, as happened with a close relative, and as people such as John Perkins have openly admitted. The hit men and saboteurs sicced on us during my days with Dennis were often contract agents (1, 2), and officialdom disavowed knowledge of their activities. That is how it works in the real world, and that strategy is called plausible deniability.
 NDEs have been a subject of considerable personal interest for me, as my paranormal experiences prepared me to investigate them. Kenneth Ring performed the seminal work on NDEs, as far as attempting controlled research and comparing NDEs to extraterrestrial close encounters. See his The Omega Project.
Gregory Little attempted something similar, although more from a debunking perspective. Little attributed most paranormal phenomena to electromagnetic illusions. See his Grand Illusions. There is significant Bible quoting in Grand Illusions. John Michael McCarthy’s phantasmagoric cartoons strangely dominate it. The thesis of Grand Illusions is worth considering, but the admittedly Christian Little had an agenda. To a degree it was a defense of his faith, and needs to be read with that in mind.
Going further into materialistic, “it’s an illusion” dismissals of the NDE experience is the work of Susan Blackmore, the leading “skeptic” to formulate a materialistic theory of NDEs. See her In Search of the Light, and her materialistic theory of the NDE experience in The Near Death Experience - A Reader, edited by Lee Bailey and Jenny Yates. At least she appears to be an honest debunker. Her theory is partly based on dismissing the notion of reincarnation, and she formulated a questionable interpretation of the words attributed to Buddha. Buddha emphasized the here and now, and his de-emphasis on the afterlife and reincarnation has been misinterpreted by many Westerners as being a strike against the reincarnation concept. Astute scholars of Eastern literature, especially regarding Buddha’s teachings, assert that anybody thinking that Buddha was skeptical that reincarnation was a fact is sorely mistaken. See S. Radhakrishnan’s The Principal Upanishads, pp. 948-949. See Joseph Head and S. L. Cranston, eds., Reincarnation, an East-West Anthology, pp. 12-16. See Heinrich Zimmer’s Philosophies of India, pp. 464-487. See Huston Smith’s The World's Religions, pp. 82-153, especially pp. 115-116. See Paramahansa Yogananda’s Autobiography of a Yogi, p. 484. See Walter Evans-Wentz’s The Tibetan Book of the Dead. Blackmore then invented a chemical/physiological explanation that was creative, to say the least. Blackmore’s and Little’s are the best efforts I have seen that try invalidating the NDE experience, and they had serious shortcomings.
Perhaps the strangest attempt to invalidate the NDE experience is Richard Abanes’s Journey into the Light. Abanes attempted to demonize NDEs by arguing that they are encounters with Satan. Abanes spent most of the book enlisting the work of scientific debunkers of NDEs, in an effort to try invalidating all NDE experiences. The last third of the book, however, is a betrayal of any pretensions to scientific objectivity and is a descent into demonizing anything that cannot be found in the Bible. The book is a strange alliance of science and religion to try invalidating experiences that challenge both worldviews. Abanes’s book made it to the mass market, but is only appropriate for the fundamentalist Christian section of bookstores. The last part of Abanes’s book was reminiscent of Ron Carlson and Ed Decker’s Fast Facts on False Teachings, which calls every philosophy, faith, and religion not fundamentalist Christianity the devil’s work.
Robert McLuhan’s Randi’s Prize is an excellent summary of how debunkers, especially Blackmore, go wrong when trying to invalidate paranormal events such as NDEs. Michael E. Tymm’s The Articulate Dead surveys many scientific experiments performed long ago on communicating with the “dead,” as well as the vast amount of scientific literature that debunkers pretend does not exist.
 See Brinkley’s Saved by the Light and At Peace in the Light for his account of coming to grips with his new abilities.
 See Cherie Sutherland’s Reborn in the Light.
 See Dannion Brinkley’s Saved by the Light, p. 59.
 Joe Nickell is one of the “skeptical” faithful, always ready to invoke the “scam” angle, no matter how much evidence flies in the face of his theorizing.
 See a description of a thieves’ hell in Bruce Moen’s Voyage to Curiosity’s Father, pp. 149-154.
 See Bruce Moen’s Voyage to Curiosity’s Father, pp. 111-170. I suspect that the Creator does not simply leave things there, but at some stage those “flies of hell” will receive their redemption by an act of grace that no earthly being can currently imagine.
 Bruce Moen describes a “hollow heaven” in his Voyage to Curiosity’s Father, pp. 171-186.
 See Graham Bernard’s The Challenge of Evil, pp. 5-7.
 See Richard Bach’s Illusions, chapter 17.
 See Dannion Brinkley’s Saved by the Light. Michael Roads, in his Into a Timeless Realm, described time as appearing “spherical” instead of linear. Many near-death experiences (NDEs) describe that “fast-forward” life review.
 Robert Shapiro’s Zoosh says this. After this essay was written and this site pretty much finished, an article came out in the Sedona Journal of Emergence, November 2002 issue, pp. 69-70, titled “The Sacrifice of Lucifer,” by Yaлl Powell, who claims it is a channeling from God. It is along the lines of humanity exploring “anti-love” due to the free will God gave us, and Lucifer volunteered to help us make this exploration that God did not anticipate, as God knows that love is all there is, we are exploring what we are not. It is a very compassionate article.
 Paddy McMahon’s The Grand Design material discusses that issue.
 See Paddy McMahon’s The Grand Design material.
 See, for instance, Reincarnation, An East-West Anthology, edited by Joseph Head and S.L. Cranston; Arthur and Joyce Berger’s Reincarnation, Fact or Fable?; Reincarnation, edited by Sylvia Cranston.
 : - )
 Many people channel the Michael teachings. The sources used for this essay are: Chelsea Quinn Yarbro’s Messages from Michael, More Messages from Michael, Michael’s People and Michael for the Millennium; Joya Pope’s The World According to Michael and Upcoming Changes; Josй Stevens’ Tao to Earth and Earth to Tao; Shepherd Hoodwin’s The Journey of Your Soul; The Michael Game by The Michael Digest Group and The Michael Handbook by Josй Stevens and Simon Warwick-Smith. Below are tables that outline most of the Michael teaching’s basics.
Soul role for earthbound souls
% of human species
How roles view the human world
The world is their artistic model
The world is their guest
The world is unconquered territory
The world is their object of study
Sage (artisan exalted)
The world is their audience
Priest (server exalted)
The world is their flock
King (warrior exalted)
The world is their realm
# of Karmic Ribbons Created and Burned
My creations are real
I am forced to serve
Might makes right
My theories are correct
I am always worth listening to
I always know what is best for all
I should always be in charge
Life is About
Relationship to Nature
Let’s try it, but life is scary
Connected with nature
Let’s do it right, or do not try
Following the rules
Let’s do it my way.
I win, you lose.
Do it someplace else. Life is intense
Love and acceptance
Laziness, “I am better”
You do it your way, I’ll do it mine
Lives with nature
“You can call me master”
We can make things better
We are one
Michael’s Soul Ages
Rough Correspondence to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
Less “age” oriented terminology
Age of Monad
Planes of Existence, Tao is Source of all
Awareness as individual
Reflection on life lived
Realization that death is coming
These tables provide only a bare outline of the Michael teachings. Joya Pope gave me a reading in the early 1990s and read me as an Old (level 2) Artisan, an Idealist/Skeptic with a goal of Growth, in the Observation mode with a strong slide into Perseverance, with Emotional centering complemented with a Moving part, a chief feature of Impatience and about 65% feminine energy. I have a Saturnian body, which is rugged on the positive pole and gaunt on the negative pole, and I have experienced each in this life. I am one of those “slow learners” who has lived more than 160 physical lives, most on Earth as a human. Joya’s impressions (done over the phone) and glimpses of my future were extremely accurate in many ways. This web site is a classic Old Artisan undertaking, but Old Artisans also leave behind many unfinished works. This site was largely completed in September 2002, overcoming the flagging inspiration that Old Souls are vulnerable to. Since love and being of service to others is the royal path, Servers complete their incarnation cycle with the fewest lives and incur the least amount of negative Karma. Violating another’s free will in a way that harms them creates negative Karma. It can be paid back in eye-for-an-eye fashion, but that is the least enlightened way. If I murder somebody in a life, them murdering me in another can pay it back, but can also lead to a new round of Karma. Saving their life can also pay it back, and can lead to creating Philanthropic Karma, which is a positive Karma. Kings incur the largest Karmic burdens as they play tyrant when acting out of their negative pole (“off with their heads!”). Hitler was a priest, as was Gandhi. The Transcendental and Infinite souls rarely manifest on the physical plane. Transcendental souls usually initiate great social changes, and in history there have been few, such as Socrates, Muhammad, Zoroaster, and Gandhi. The Transcendental soul often paves the way for the Infinite soul to manifest. The Infinite soul manifests through final incarnation priests and kings, and history’s have been: Jesus, Buddha, Lao-tzu, Krishna, and Ra. Others have existed that history has not recorded. The Great Peacemaker of the Iroquois, Deganawidah, may have been a Transcendental soul, or perhaps Infinite. The early soul stages easily fall prey to their “false personalities,” which is essentially herd-conditioning: having attitudes and beliefs indoctrinated by society and not from direct experience. The false personality is generally founded upon fear- and scarcity-based beliefs. Setting aside the false personality and bringing through one’s “essence” (soul) is the Great Goal of all sentient species, and it can only be done through love.
In the soul cycle, the first three stages are outwardly focused into the physical world, and the Late Young stage is the apex of outward focus. Societies at that stage are materialistic, nearly anti-spiritual, and that is the stage where ensouled species that can manipulate their environment can destroy their planet, by either warfare or environmental destruction. Michael said that ensouled species do it a third of the time. If a species makes it past the Young Soul stage, it begins the inward journey, and Mature Souls explore their emotions. The final stage is Old Soul awareness. While love is mainly what matters to them at that stage, they can also fall prey to their particular foibles. They can be lazy, sloppy, and think that their experience makes them better than younger souls, and toleration and acceptance are their great lessons. They can be intolerant of the intolerance that younger souls often display. In humanity’s upcoming transition from Young to Mature Soul awareness, several Transcendental and Infinite Souls may manifest, and they might mainly be women.
 On those themes, see Lyssa Royal and Stephen Davis’s Future Sex, Lyssa Royal and Keith Priest’s The Prism of Lyra, Visitors from Within, and Preparing for Contact; Gina Lake’s ET Contact and The Extraterrestrial Vision; Barbara Marciniak’s Bringers of the Dawn, Earth and Family of Light; The Ra Material; Dolores Cannon’s The Legend of Starcrash. Robert Shapiro and friends’ The Explorer Race and Shining the Light series. Many other excellent works address those themes, but those are a good start.